It is hard and definitely a process. Take it a day at a time. Try to take sometime of your day to do something for you.

I understand how you feel. I hate that I know my husband and the OW are together. I hate knowing that she sleeps at his apartment. I see her toothbrush in his medicine cabinet. Honestly it is a struggle to not clean the toilet with it. I am a better and more decent human being through. I hate them both so much. So I understand how hard it is to shut off your mind. I wish I could offer you some more advice on how to make it stop. But the truth is I just don't know. I do know that it eventually gets less and less. I don't think about it quite as often as I used to. Hang in there. It will get better.

For many, if not all, even if we dont want to be with the person, or we know they are bad for us from head to toe, when they give their attention to someone else, we feel heartbreak and almost instantly start yearning for them and thinking irrationaly with thoughts that they should be in our lives and noone elses. Many make the mistake or taking them back or continuing on with the relationship when we KNOW its not a relationship we should be in.

So all that does is keep this perpetual cycle going.

I am hoping as more time goes by, you can remember the moments when the relationship was so bad, that you had to get out of it. That you can remember, why you ended it and find strength behind that. Because, if he hasn't gotten help for his drinking and nothing has changed on his end, nothing will change if you go back in to the relationship with him. And after some time, you will start feeling like you did when you finally took the step to end it. It probably won't even take as long as it took you before.

Its normal to feel like you do. I am sure if I think about some I dated, (outside of my ex), it may bother me knowing that altho I couldn't and / or didn't want to be with them, it may bother me. Of course not with all those I dated, but there are probably a couple where it would. So don't beat yourself up too much. Also, dont give much value to the thoughts you are having on wanting him back.

Let him go , so you can let yourself off the hook and move on to what WILL be better for you.

Welcome back, unfortunately.

Oh honey start with a new name on here! YOU are an individual not just half of a couple!

YOU had a brilliant and fulfilling life before him and I promise you will have one again. It hurts like hell but once you find your feet and remember who you are, or who you want to be, the lights will come back on in your life.

I feel your pain.. My relationship was toxic and abusive, yet I miss him everyday and I totally get the "parts"of the day when "they" are together. It does get better and even though it hurts like hell, just remember if it was meant to be, it would have been. So here you are, and you have to just put one foot in front of the other, one day at a time.

i understand. take things day by day, and keep focused on your health. during these times, our health is most important. it's comforting to know, ds is here for us.