I am so sorry for your pain. I know that nothing in the world could possibly hurt as much as this does. Stay strong for you kids, be gentle on yourself.

I feel so bad for you i am going thru the same thing i know that my ex and i can fix the relationship but he says he is done and i just cry everyday for over 4 weeks now except i can even get mad. Know that you can do it I have been raising my 3 kids on my own pretty much for 19 years.

I'm trying I wish I could just hug a person, some human, and they will tell me it will be, I will be, the kids will be ok. I want my old life back to change the mistakes, the things I took for granted. I am going to lose my home and probably have to live in the projects or worse move back in with my mom and dad if he will let me. I don't even know where to start to look for social services. We just live in limbo.

It is the hardest thing i have ever lived through... the betrayal and backstabbing, all the deceit...... the chaos of having your future denied and the present re-arranged w/o our sayso... but live through it we must.
The early stages are hardest. You must force yourself to eat and sleep, exercise. See if your doctor can give you something to help you sleep. It is so difficult to face all this when you are exhausted.
This IS survivable. Do NOT doubt that. You will be surprised at what you can do to protect yourself and move forward.
You can get through this and we will help you.

DONT BE LONELY. Keep family and friends around not like distraction to clear the head and encourage healing. Get a dog, volunteer, have your sister or BF stay for a couple of days, go visit someone out of state. Do whatever it takes to be distracted. Get counseling, try parents w/o partners (online), go to church and exercise there are studies that consistent exercise had equal result to antidepressants. These are my techniques not perfect plan, but better than nothing.

I feel like all I do is dump on people with the same story...the fact of "poor me". I am on antidepressants but I don't think they help much. I just go thru waves of depression that reminds me of my post partum depression I had. I don't want to dump on any of you...you all have your own problems, I know. I just want to die sometimes.

Keep you head up I feel like giving up some days to but i just keep going. I had to move in with a roomate and my 3 kids which is hard but i am just working on saving money to get my own place. I take alot of walks and in 3 weeks from not eating have lost 21 lbs which i needed but is not good. Just know that in time it will get better and you will get the love you deserve.

I wish I had friends or someone close to help me take my mind off things. For years I only had my kids and ran around with them or did things a normal stay at home mom would do shopping cleaning, etc. We would all go out when he got home to dinner or whatever and he was my only, my best friend. His friends from work were my friends, so In there is the problem. I'm 40 and it's not easy to go out and introduce yourself. At the gym people do their own thing, parents from my son's school do their own thing or work late. He was my friend for 20 years and now it's gone.

Don't feel like you're "dumping on us"!!

Everyone understands here. Feel free to vent here all you like.

A lot of us here are going through various stages of separation and divorce for various reasons.

The first thing you need to do is ensure that you are taking care of yourself and your kids. I see that you have young ones, but try to get out, at the very least for a walk or something. Exercise can really help you get through some of the rough patches.

As for worrying about where you will live, etc.....you have rights.

Especially, as a SAHM (Stay at home Mom). If it is the intent of you and your husband to dissolve to marriage, you should consider retaining an attorney to see if you can obtain some temporary economic relief from your H while the divorce is progressing.

Take care and good luck!

the main thing is that you have to take care of yourself! you are running on empty and have to keep your energy levels up. and, you need counseling to help you figure out how to construct a stable life for yourself and your kids.

today, you should start calling social service agencies. step by step, they will help you rebuild.

Oh, do I know the pain you are feeling all too well. You are not dumping on us, that is what we are here for. We are now your leaning post.

Like others have said, taking care of yourself and the boys is first and foremost. I know it is hard. I don't even remember the first couple of months after he left, then one day I realized I was okay. You literally need to work minute by minute at this point.

It is horrible what he has done to you. Yes, fear is what is driving these thoughts at this point. You will see what you are capable of handling. If you need me, I am always here. Hugs

Hi LLMT...my story is very close to yours...you are not dumping...I was married for 22 years...he was my best friend...really my only friend, but he had many other friends...I too raised my kids pertty much on my own...he was never home but when he was...I thought that he was all I needed....then he wanted a divorce, he was seeing a 22 years old girl from work...he is 44 our daughter is 22...for the last couple of years he would stay out late he said with friends...I got depressed and gained a lot of weight...I am 5' 1" and weighed 209....and I know you don't see it...but you are going to be just fine....this happen to me on April 28....I am now at 168,,,and still losing....Honey, you will get through this...I still get lonley and want human touch...but you have your kids...I have my Granddaughter...and trust me there is nothing like the hug from a child....who is really intrested in hugging....you are stronger then you know....you will need to go to the Dr. and get something to help you sleep, exercise...and everyone says that...but now if I am feeling bad...I exercise...although I really don't want to I make myself...it produces a chemical in your brain that will help you deal...and just make you feel bettter...now when I start feeling depressed...I exercise...I eat right...it just makes you feel better....I never saw myself with anyone but him...so I am having trouble seeing myself anything other then alone in the future...I am 41...but I know I will find a good man...one who loves and treats me right...because this time I know what I want...and it is not a man that always leaves me alone...your a beautiful Women...be strong, hold your head up high, remember the best revenge is to be Happy, God bless and I pray you find peace....