So I've spent 5 years with a man. We have a 9 month old baby that was unplanned and that he was wholeheartedly against having in the beginning. Anyways, he makes more money than I do. We both work at the same place although in complete different divisions. He has a home of his own and I have a home of my own but we live in my home and his has sat vacant for the five years we have been together. He pays a $1000 mortgage on it and $1000 a month in child support for his two teen daughters with his ex wife. The rest he has been socking away building a vacation river house. The final inspection on it is this week. Now his home is 45 minutes away from our job. I live right smack in ground zero where one can be oncall and get overtime so he moved it with me and went on call and added $20,000 to his salary. But this only if he lives within the city limits. He has paid nothing at all towards my household bills. Nothing. Not towards utilites or groceries. I even paid his cell phone bill for a year. So he's not paying cable, utilites, or groceries for his vacant house either. I put his kids on my health insurance during open enrollment when his 13 year old developed type 1 diabetes. I pay $470 a month for family insurance. Anyway these past years he always says that we are going to get married, and that he's going to sell his room and start contributing to my household, and that when we get married that the river house he is building would be mine too.
So last week we were contacted by Risk management. Because we are only certified domestic partners and not married his kids have to live with us to be covered by my insurance or he too has to pay $500 a month. They said if we got married then they would be my stepkids and it would be fine if they didn't live with us. So he texts me, "Lets get married!" So yes I felt sad I was giving up a ring and a proposal and a wedding to give his kids insurance but he said we were going to get married anyway. So I said okay. We got our license Thursday and Sunday his sister was going to marry us down south as she is a notary. Well Saturday he starts freaking out and saying he has cold feet and can't marry me. After 5 years and a baby. So I ask him when was he going to ask me to marry him? And he says, MAYBE year 8. or year 9. It became pretty apparent he never had any intentions of marrying me. I think he was never going to help contribute to my household so I told him to move out. Miraculously now he signed up for the $500 a health insurance for his own kids. I am feeling pretty heartbroken and used. Haven't heard from him on if and when he plans on seeing our baby. All he said was he will get his stuff out of my house sometime this week.

I want to feel better. NOW. I know that there is a grieving process and my friends and family all say "you deserve better" but do we really get what we deserve? i don't know. I know am a single mom to four girls. I have three with an ex husband. I doubt anyone is going to want to date a woman with four small kids but I guess I'm hopeful that one day I'll find someone who appreciates all that I am and all that I do.