I was on here about a year ago. Not sure if anyone is still around from then but thought I would give a update. Having people on here to vent to really helped. I had met what I thought was the love of my life. When my mom got sick and passed away he was there anytime I needed him. Then all of the sudden in a weeks time he barely called. I thought nothing of it because he had so much going on in his life. Then he was supposed to come over on a Saturday. Made sure my son was out of the house for the day and I was looking forward to it. I never heard from him the whole day. Finally got him to answer Sunday and all I got from him was I cant handle a relationship anymore its to much responsibility. Even though everyone on here told me I had to let go for two months I would call him at least once a week. I had so many unanswered questions and he tried to answer them when I called but the answers made no sense. I was devastated. I finally decided to move on and try dating again. Dated someone for 2 months but it did not work out. Nothing bad there we just never quite clicked and we are still friends today. A little bit later I met someone else. Now about this time the ex came back around. It started from a comment on facebook. We became friends again. Nothing more. I missed that part of us. He had not been with anyone since us so at least I knew he meant it when he said he just could not handle a relationship. SO then he starts hinting he wants to date again. Well by then it was to late. I had just moved in the new guy. Usually I would not have done it so quickly but he had an electrical fire and his trailer he was renting was gone. Not a week after the new guy moves in he gets seriously drunk. That was a surprise to me. Told me he was just stressed from everything. I will skip everything in the middle. Long story short is my ex kept telling me this guy was not who he said and warning me and it turns out he was right. New guy was a huge alcoholic. Took me almost 4 months before I caught on and he could not hide it. He stole money from me. I made him leave. Now in comes the ex like a superhero. I had no money for my sons Christmas and the ex brings me a "Christmas present" which was money so I could get my son something. Asked for nothing in return. Well after calling me everyday for 4 months to make sure I was OK I figured you know maybe this guy finally realizes what he gave up and I let him back into my life. Now here not even a month later and he does it again. All of the sudden he had a bunch of things happen at once. I have not heard from him since Saturday morning briefly. I did try calling and texting because I was worried but then I saw him sign on facebook so I know he is just doing the avoiding thing. Am I pissed? Yep. I am mad, frustrated and hurt. The one thing I asked when we got back together is if he decides he cant handle it just speak up and don't do the disappearing act and leave me wondering.

However I finally got my answers from before and I do not regret giving him that second chance. All this time I had wondered if I did something wrong. Was I so caught up in my problems the first time I was not there for him. Now I know. I know I did nothing wrong this time. I made sure to give him space. I made sure to be there for him and yet he still pulled the same stunt. It feels like I am finally free after all this time. For the first time I can look in the mirror and not second guess myself and know I am OK. I am sure I will still have little moments. Today I woke up and thought of him before I even got out of bed. I wanted to grab my phone and call and yell at him and ask him why. After being here for me and trying so hard and promising you would not do this again did you do it. I took a deep breath wiped off a few tears and not 3 minutes later I was OK. I did not call. I asked myself would his answer really make a difference to me. I know I did nothing wrong and I know I deserve better. It feels like I have got a piece of myself back that I am missing. If the urge to call him hits hard then I will write down everything I want to say to him in a letter. Won't send it but I find just getting it out of you helps sometimes. If anyone is still around from a year ago I wanted to say thank you. This is a wonderful place to go to for support.