Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
the person I love walked out on me yesterday for good after the 10th time it seems. I begged him to stay but he won't. I feel so alone and ashamed. I love him so much. He said he loves me too but we can't be together because he needs to work on himself an he doesn't want to make me empty promises and make me wait forever for him. Because he said he isn't sure he's ready for the stage after dating and he doesn't know when he ever will be. We've been together for 2 years, he's like my best friend. I'm 25 he's almost 22. We've talked about kids and stuff in the past and he said he did want them but not anytime soon. I feel so lost. I've made him my everything. We work and live together. I even gave up my social life for him because he wasn't into going out or having fun, but more of a homebody. Now I'm home alone and I cry and think about him all day, last night I dreamt of him only to wake up alone. I was so sad I texted him asking him why we can't be together telling him I love him so much . He told me he had to be by himself . I don't know what to do or where to start. My life feels like it's over. I can barely concentrate at work and I just got promoted to a good position. I just don't know why this is happening. He said I didn't do anything wrong and he loves me and he doesn't want anybody else or trying to be with anybody else, but he has to be alone. I honestly feel like I'm losing my mind. And annoying my friends over text telling them how sad I am. I'm embarrassed. I've never begged anybody to be with me before. I feel like I'd give almost anything to have the person I love back in my life. I don't know what to do. I can feel myself falling.
Take this time to build on yourself too. If and when he or someone better comes back/along, you will be a better you - make it twice as difficult for them to pass you up. One of the toughest feats (for me anyways) is loving ourselves. We somehow can handle loving, adoring, even praising others, but loving ourselves it's so difficult. Make that your goal. Work on yourself, during this time.
I'm not suggesting this is easy. I'm also not suggesting that you should expect to be anything other than human. You will have rollercoaster'ing emotions. You have to miss him. He's been your everything for upwards of 700 days. But he needs his space right now, and for whatever that reason is, try to see the opportunity in it, for you to grow yourself.
I wish you the best. We are here for support however possible, all things considered
My point here to you is that I have issues. I went directly to a counselor when I got the news 11 days ago. He got the story and we are discussing my childhood right now.
So springing from that background, I am in agreement with Newman2016. This is the time to look at the things in your life that cause you to think it's ok to be in a relationship that breaks up 10 times in just two years. One of two things will come out of it;
1) You will find out what 'mishap' in you childhood or past causes you to make your mate uncomfortable and you will be able to adjust it.
2) You will find what 'mishap' occurred in your childhood or past that causes you to accept less than what you want and deserve from another person in an intimate relationship.
Either way if you want to truly solve this issue with your love interest it seems like you need to find out what's going on with you.
Thanks for sharing. I get your feelings. My feet haven't stopped tingling since I got the news she was seeing someone else. I can't imagine what you are feeling.
"I need space" is a selfish cop out. His actions clearly indicate he's not ready for a relationship with you or anyone else.
Also, examine yourself and what you need to do differently. Repeating "I love him so much" over and over seems like you're trying to convince yourself and not us.
I will pray for you.
My best guess are:
-he realized you are mistaking need for love
-he realized he's gay
-he's interested in another person and doesn't want to cheat
-you're too clingy
-you are not interesting to him
-you don't enjoy the same activities
-you don't want the same things out of life
Or maybe he simply realized that although he likes you and may even love you on some level, he is not IN LOVE with you, nor does he truly think you are in love with him. The fact that you don't seem to care what he wants, would resort to begging him to say, and would do anything to get him back even though he's told you he does not want to be with you leads me to believe he might be right.
Like with my situation. I get she no longer loves me but then what? Why do I have to hurt about it?
And Prayers! I need tons of that! @Newman2016 you're comment was my favorite. I realized I don't really love myself and I have all this love inside me to give. Hence why I want a family so bad. Anyways. You're right I knew after about 6 times that something isn't right. But I thought Love could fix anything. I was naive. Thank you for the encouragement !
I’m going through something very similar right now and understand your feelings. It hurts so damn bad that you feel like you can’t function and the idea of moving on just won’t work in your mind. I feel it all right now. I gave so much of my love, affection and time to her and it feels like she gave up on me, even after me trying everything possible. It sucks and I just wanted to let you know that I know what it feels like. You are not alone. If you want to talk or need someone to talk to who understands, I am here. I might not be able to provide a lot of advice since I’m going through this too, but I can be someone to talk to who understands the hurt and the other shit.