You need to become proactive and begin taking steps to build yourself up and be in a position to care for yourself.

People will get tired of just hearing the misery and complaining about a situation that never changes.

I have a neighbor that just married a man for the SECOND TIME, and expects me to listen to her complain and whine about him. Not going to happen.

You gave to begin taking steps to create a healthier life for yourself and your child. This guy isn't going to change.

If you chose to stay in this marriage, you will be showing your child that it's okay for someone to cheat...that it's just part of life. Do you really want that for your child? That was one thing that lead me to leave my marriage of 22 years. I didn't want my kids to grow up believing that it's something you have to put up with. I also had concerns about living somewhere decent when I divorced because of the huge debt we carried. Everything worked out great. I went back to college and finished my degree. It was all worth it.

Look into the divorce laws for your state and see a lawyer for a consult so you know where you stand. (((HUGS)))

Sounds like a really difficult situation. And no one here will get tired of your complaining. Everyone here is here to listen and help.

I do agree that you should start taking steps in order to be able to move on, financially and emotionally. Definitely start researching the divorce attorneys in your state. A lot of attorneys will give a one time free consultation. Look into that and go from there. The support here is wonderful, so please keep updating us.

been where you are now. i got out...finally! you're stronger than you think. one day at a time, step in the right direction towards freedom.. you can do it!

Aw thanks to all. I know that i definitely want to start taking the steps to permanently leave my marriage but i am also realistic that it will take some time to do so. He an i get along great as parents and partners and hopefully that continues. The hard part is navigating the family dynamic in the meantime.

You don't have to do anything right away if you're not ready. Just get your finances and start planning for your future without him now though. I will not be filing for divorce until March and we still live together.

Thank you koko. I know a lot of people just dont understand why i would stay until i have a plan. It is reassuring to know there are others trying to make it through this confusing time when there just isnt a set of instructions to follow.

It took me many years to finally screw up the courage to leave my cheating and deeply disturbed, deceptive wife. I kept telling myself I was protecting my kids. On one level, that was true. But on another level, it was was just a complicated way of keeping them believing in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny--and me along with 'em!

Ultimately, a mature and loving protection of my kids and my own fates became clearer. Leaving was the answer in 2012--should have been even as early as 1994.

I am so sorry, I would make a plan, copies of important info, document all you can, stay calm and collective. even if he stops or things seem better, keep the plan in motion until YOU are ready.

You can do this. You're young and articulate, you can find work (if you're not already working) and you can support yourself and your daughter, with child support from your H. It was about 6 years ago that I was in your position, thinking I could hold out for 8 more years until the youngest was in college. Well, I couldn't. When the oldest was getting ready to commit to a college this past spring, I had that moment where I tried to envision my life with stbx and no kids at home. I couldn't imagine it. It doesn't matter how old the kids are, if the marriage is bad, it's bad and it adversely affects everyone. Waiting till they turn 18 will not help them or you. Waiting will only serve to build resentment, lower your self esteem, point you in the direction of depression, confuse your daughter, and pretty much serve as a virtural "ok" to your husband to continue with his addictions and reckless behavior. I wish to god I had not waited, I've lost those years but am certain in my convinctions now about what I need in a spouse. and what I will no longer tolerate. You are worth so much more than a cheating lying man can provide to you. It's great that you can co-parent, awesome really, so you can already see that your daughter will have some level of support and consistency when you finally do divorce. It takes time to process the realities, but please don't be so afraid to act that you stay in this limbo.

I'm sorry to hear It's hard. . It only been 8 weeks for me and a small piece of me still loves her. I struggle everyday but I'm starting to have some good days. The lies you hear can be devastating She still denies it and the names she's been with keep increasing it's up to 3 guys now and I'm not the only one who knows. My story seems like something out of a movie. I still don't believe it happen but it did. Seek therapy it has really helped me to talk to someone. I had nobody to talk to and was holding everything in. It's hard I know but stay strong