You have found friends and we are all here for you!

But all I do is cry and I'm like 100 lbs soaking wet. I can't seem to move on to the fact that I will be alone, while he has her. This is someone I've been with for 19 years and married 12. I'm hysterical today and I don't know where to turn....I think I've pushed away everyone because I want someone to tell me what to do and they are now getting mad at me. I should just move on or get over it. I have sooo many decisions to make and my kids are so little. There are times when I wish I could just teleport myself to somewhere.

Get the book Breakup Because it is Broken..easy read. I KNOWWW it is painful. This book helped me somewhat. You need to protect yourself. You will be loved. They were so incredibly hurtful to you! I am sorry...you have great little kids that love you :0)

All your feelings are normal llmt. You will go through the stages of grieving. Would it be possible to move back where your family is for support until you get on your own two feet. I worry that if you continue to share the house with him you will never be able to move forward.

I just wish I had someone close to me where I live where I can meet or go to lunch or a drink to take my mind off things. Most people here seemed to have coped well. I, however, am NOT coping. I keep going over in my mind WHY? And my kids are a miracle but they are growing up before my eyes and I'm afraid I will still be stuck here. Plus, I don't think he will let me leave the state to live with family, if need be. That is probably where I need to be.

I understand being a SAHM and having kids (I have three) and the pain of a longterm relationship ending, and the need to still finish raising the kids (and the thought of so much of that resting on you). It is hard to imagine working and going to school and continuing to do all that I do. In fact, I'm sure I can't do it as well. There are not enough hours in the day and something will have to give.

I also live nowhere near my friends/family which is awful. It is hard when you are grieving and the STBX is not..

I have no great words of wisdom, but you are not alone. We will get through this together! Hugs!

I told him to move out so I do not have to uproot my kids until we could figure out what to do with the house, but I guess he wants his cake and eat it too, because he's still here and is really lazy about looking for something.

I understand and empathize. You are not alone even though it feels like it. If you feel as though the people in your life are frustrated/ impatient with your grief, then hang out here with others who have/are going through many of the same feelings. I wish I had some more comforting advice fro you...unfortunately, there is no easy way through this.

since it's summertime, can you take the kids to visit family and give him time to move out (tell him he must before you return)? I just did this..

Yes, I've gone several times to visit family, on his weekends he was either working or out with the Other Woman...I'm sure of it. I keep asking him if he found somewhere but he says he pays the bills and it's his house too, even though it's causing me pain.

He cannot stop you from moving with your kids... he is the one that broke the marriage, why are you letting him dictate to you now? Pack your things and go! It really is that simple, then when you get there, establish residency and file for custody and divorce!

According to the lawyers I would need his permission or it's considered kidnapping or abandonment or something like that. Overall I'm sure he wouldn't care but I can't find a job up there anyway...I have more opportunity here to support my kids. He's got me and he knows it. Just wish I had the guts to be strong and kick him to the curb and be done forever but I look at our history and great times and this is/was my soulmate. He is NOT the person I married and I feel like someone sucked that person out. I know he's in there but all he does is lie to my face when in fact I know he's telling the OW what she wants to hear and me what I want to hear. I don't believe a word of it but I just keep my mouth shut and am sooo quiet to avoid any conflict.

you could lose the house if you move... wouldn't do that if you own it. I forget the legal term....abandonment? anyway, i got in in writing from my STBX that i had permission to take the kids to another said for said period of time, to protect myself. You have to get him to move out. Keep pestering and insisting. Mine pays the bills too. Whatever, you are raising his kids! UGHHH. If finances are an issue, you can move to a smaller house and he can have one two or an apartment, but keep bringing it up with him and tell him you CANNOT live with him anymore.

meant "state" for said period of time...

llmt, I am so sorry you are going through this, I went through somethinv very similiar, and it is hell on earth.

I know you are so sad, confused and lost right now...it feels impossible to put your thoughts together enough to get through the day, much less plan a new life. I get it. But, now is the time to dig very very deep and get tough. This ass and his whore have done what they've done and you cant change that - but you have legal rights. YOU are his wife and mother to his children. You are a stay at home mom, he most likely WILL have to pay for his mistakes in a very literal way - through displaced homemaker support, alimony, child support and upkeep.

Let's see how appealing Mr. Magic is to the slut when he is broke and depressed over his family. Trust me on this, the allure of the 'forbidden' was their motivation - guaranteed.

You mention the emails and the extreme details included - 1st of all, I am so so so sorry you read this I know how it cut, believe me I do. But those emails alone show the kind of 'relationship' they have - and it is pure BS 100%. Trust me sweetie, this slut will dump him high and dry when 'real life' sets in.

But enough about that - time to think of you and the kids. First step - Contact an attorney today. You have rights!! A big part of what your going through is fear, get some solid legal advice to help alleviate that fear - it's the first step to taking care of yourself and your kids.


I encourage you to journal your thoughts, keep pouring it all out it really is cathartic. Keep talking to us, there are so many here who have walked down this road, in all different stages of 'recovery' they can offer support and solid advice for you as you move forward.

We are here for you and we care, your not alone:)