Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Simply put, I want children. Before I met my ex, I never even realized I did. We'd spent time discussing this. Coming up with names, plans, how to raise, etc. A conversation about this future that she started, not me. Those kids are gone now, and I feel overwhelmingly empty. I stay up nights, tossing and turning. I've not slept decently in over two months.
I feel like I've lost out on the opportunity, that I'm not going to have them. I'm heartbroken on so many levels, but this one, I just never expected. I'm not thinking like "precious miracles" or any kind of pseudo-babble like that. Just, someone to be responsible for, to love on, and be good to. Raise him/her properly. During the year, I see so many kids whose folks just don't give a damn. And I wonder, how do some of these dysfunctional idiots get to have children, but I don't.
And I hate my ex for this. For even getting me to think about it, then just tugging it away, like it was nothing. And when I think about misogyny, and avoiding it, I can't help but feel anger, distaste and jealousy for women who can produce a child. But I can't. And that's that, I guess.
I'm sure I'll get some more hateful responses like I did the first time i posted on here. But I don't know where else to go with this, not at this time of the night anyway.
I feel like I've lost out on the opportunity, that I'm not going to have them. I'm heartbroken on so many levels, but this one, I just never expected. I'm not thinking like "precious miracles" or any kind of pseudo-babble like that. Just, someone to be responsible for, to love on, and be good to. Raise him/her properly. During the year, I see so many kids whose folks just don't give a damn. And I wonder, how do some of these dysfunctional idiots get to have children, but I don't.
And I hate my ex for this. For even getting me to think about it, then just tugging it away, like it was nothing. And when I think about misogyny, and avoiding it, I can't help but feel anger, distaste and jealousy for women who can produce a child. But I can't. And that's that, I guess.
I'm sure I'll get some more hateful responses like I did the first time i posted on here. But I don't know where else to go with this, not at this time of the night anyway.
If it's just wanting someone to take care of, there's plenty of single women with children. You could also foster or adopt. In the meantime, you could even get a rescue animal.
I know it's hard to let go of the idea of the two of you creating a family unit, of your kids also being hers. However, it's still very possible for you to have children.
I agree with utterpain. There are plenty of single women with children. Lots. If you want to have children, there are lots of those women out there too.
I know it's tough because you feel your losing something precious. I lost my hopes and dreams when my ex ran. But I just have to make new ones.
Your not that old so take your time. My friend had kids at 39.
I know it's hard to let go...really hard sometimes. But think would you want children with her now anyway?
Sorry, wish I had better words to help. Hang in there.
I believe that being able to define what you want is an important step to getting what you want in life.
I have 4 children of a vast age span. I had my ''surprise blessing'' when I was 42 years old. He is now 3 years. Sometimes I freak out that I will be 60 when he graduates from high school. However, a reality is that he is benefiting tremendously from my various life experiences.
You are not too old to have children. It just feels that way right now.
I'm sorry that you are feeling a loss about children. You are still young enough, but you don't say whether the infertility was you or your ex. I'm going to guess it's you because you say "But I can't".
You may find a wonderful young woman in the future who has children, like the others have posted. Being a father doesn't mean you have to sire the child. It's how you hold the child in your heart. How you care for him/her and how you guide them with all the love you possess. Don't give up. Put your faith in God that he has a plan for you. (((Hugs)))