you don't have any co-workers that can help or family? what about a women's shelter? have you researched that? i'm sorry that you are going through this alone

Hi Alyssa: In looking back through your posts, you had a very traumatic accident 2 years ago that left you in need of help so you live with you boyfriend/now ex boyfriend and his family because you didn't have the resources to be on your own after the accident. It's been extremely nice of all of them to have you there.

In March you posted that you met someone and they were seeing you (this was someone other than you ex-boyfriend). I would assume that meant coming to the family's home because you were there due to the accident.

In April you said you "broke up six months ago, and in my anger when he started dating someone else, I talked a lot of shit about him. To my friends, strangers, his friends, and family."

Earlier in May, this month, you posted that he was "torturing" you (your words) because your ex-boyfriend was bringing his girlfriend to his family's home. At that time I warned you that it was the home of his family and him and it was gracious of them to allow you to stay. He had every right to bring his girlfriend home to his family. I said if you couldn't do this, you needed to talk to social workers to work out some long-term care arrangements for you elsewhere.

HE NOW HAS ANOTHER GIRLFRIEND--HE SHOULD TAKE YOUR PHOTOS OFF FACEBOOK AND PUT HIS GIRLFRIENDS UP THERE. Call the main number of your city/town and ask to speak with the social worker. Explain that you had a traumatic accident 2 years ago and have been living with people that are not your relatives and you can't stay anymore and need to go. That you need a social worker to come out to see you, evaluate your situation and and assist you in trying to work out whatever type of assistance you need to get help.

I agree you should not stay, because you're going to do something that will definitely get you thrown out and it's best you go before you reach that level. I hope you have some gratitude and appreciation for all these people have done. You also need counseling to help get your emotions under control and help you start thinking more logically.

here are some numbers for you because they may be able to provide you with resources that apply to you :

Independant living center pittsfield MA 413 442 7047

Salem MA 978 741 0077
Boston 617 338 6665
617 338 6662
MetroWest (Frammington)
508 875 7853
Lawrence 978 687 4288

fall river 508 679 9210

also here is a Home Care Assistance Program.....18002232559 ...I dont know where you are located but maybe some of it applies...take care

I am incredibly grateful to his family. They have been amazing. They agree with me that instead of going to her house it's somewhat disrespectful of him to be bring her over every time they see each other. It's not that he's posted any pictures of her online, it's that he took the photos from the birthday party before my accident down with I looked "normal." Those were the last photos of me looking normal and because I was tagged in them, they always popped up on my page. So I am having a hard time not seeing them there. Me and him have our good days when it's just us. Amazing days. As just friends. But you also need to know he manipulated me into giving him of all my back pay from social security to pay his lawyer who's going to defend him in my accident. I don't regret that, but I can't drive and have no car. And it's been 3 months and he hasn't paid a dime of it back to me. And I always hoped after court he'd come back to me, but now I know he won't. I want to leave before I do something I regret, but I can't. I'm in therapy now, but that's because he refused to let me go until last month. And the night I went out with that guy, my ex's mom dropped me off. Before that time I couldn't date according to him, so I was stuck here, by myself, watching her and her kid come over. I don't hate him, but I do despise her. And he knew that.he knew I knew something was going on with them before we made it official. I'm not perfect by any means, but I went from okay to horrendous once they started dating.

Hi Alyssa: When I became disabled, I had to go through all the red tape to find services and help. I can only tell you from my own personal experience.

The social workers in your city/town have access to many services through your county. In fact in our city, they are called in to handle cases like yours. I know one of those social workers personally and she is a friend and wonderful. The social workers here provide the food stamp cards (or you can go to the actual office for public assistance to get them and for money assitstance/welfare) and they can arrange for payments to utilities, and different agencies to come out to see you, etc.

I actually had help from the big Independent Living Center (ILC) in the next city, but a few years after becoming disabled. I had gotten more stabilized in the home, and had gotten the electric scooter so that I was now really mobile and ready to go to the ILC and start in with what they had to offer. They hold classes to teach you to cook with your various disabilities (and they would show different appliances that help with your disabilities), they have classes on managing your schedule and time management, and they even arrange classes with the state for the disabled who consider wanting to return to work and training on work skills to return to work and even . They even have fun activities like bowling, movies at the center, touring a candy factory, visiting the zoo, and much more. The focus is on remaining independent when disabled.

In further reading, I believe I read that you have a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) and if so, that may need to be looked at further. You should speak with the social worker about giving your social security money to the guy for his accident defense. The social worker could talk to you and perhaps you may need someone to sit down with you about money management, recording your expenditures of money, and to discuss with you saying NO when it comes to giving over your money to people. It's important for you to learn tools and techniques so that no one pressures you into giving over money, even boyfriends or ex-boyfriends.

The social worker will have some idea of long-term care available in the county/state and how to obtain it.

In our state, there is a state program and you must fill out a lengthy application and the social worker in our city would help you complete the forms and get whatever you needed. Your doctors would also probably have to give feedback whether your conditions would be suitable for a power chair in order to be independent (as opposed to just bedrest). There are some people that have a power chair, but must have an assistant too because they can not function well enough to get in and out of the chair or get bathed or attend to themselves.

The Arizona spinal cord injury association, which is now a chapter of the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation (remember he was Superman and then fell in a horse accident) puts out a newsletter about events that are happening. So you will find organizations all around your area with info about what is happening.

I talked to you earlier in May about talking to a social worker. Please do it because nothing happens until get started.