I just recently broke up by my boyfriend. He called it quits. We have been dating for 3 months, He use to comes over and want to be with me all the time the last 2 week he started to becoming distant as if he didn't want to be with me anymore. I tried to reach out to my bf but it always seemed like he was making an excuse to not talk to me or see me, I texted him how I felt and when he called he was avoiding the text I sent him about how I felt. I spoke to my therapist and she told me to ask him if he still wanted to be in a relationship with me so I texted him he replied yes he does. I reached out to him way before this and asking if there was anything wrong or anything I could do. he then snapped at me and told me to stop asking so many damn questions. I was hurt when I heard this that I hanged up and started to pace back and forth hurt when I just wanted to help. I went out of the bathroom trying to hold it together but I couldn't as I saw my therapist face. I told her everything. Later that night I was panicing worrying and was in desperate need of a friend to talk to. I went to reach out to my ex who was verbal and physical abuse wanting help wanting answers on whats is going on. I regret going to him (ex) cuz thats is when he told me that my bf was gonna breakup with me. I couldn't handle it anymore and I grabbed something sharp and started to cut. I didn't know how to cope with my feelings so I turn to self harming. I regret doing it. I asked my mom to come in to stop me from doing more. My bf then msged bk saying he was sorry that he didnt meant to snap at me and etc. I told him that my mom wanted to talk to him and he was I will talk to her in the morning but i told him it was urgent so he called. my mom told him what happen and they both told me to go to the hospital so I went cuz I know I needed help. we got to the hospital to the er he was there waiting for us. I was scared so I avoided eye contact knowing he is probably mad and dissappoint in me but he waited until I was checked in. my mom and my bf discussed stuff of what was going on in his life but also asking how I was. I told him through text that I was sorry and showed it to him. As we waiting to go talk to someone he had to go cuz he had to get up early for an inspection at the appartment he was living at. As I watched him leave I screamed to myself not wanting him to leave almost wanted to run after him but I stayed where I was because I was to scared of what he would say, before he left he ask my mom for updates. The next day I waited for him to text me to check in, later that day I texted him how I was doing he replied k great. I was confused and started to over think working myself up so bad that I needed him to come hold me and tell me it will be okay. My mom called him they talked and then told me he was breaking up with me I cried and screamed after hearing the words that I didn't want to be hearing. I started to blame myself for cutting and wish i could take it back wondering if I didn't cut would he still be with me. Mom had to call my therapist and a friend to talk to me. Mom called crisis and told them what happen. They came and I told them what happen. He said I was being too clingy and needy I was trying to get answers from him on what was our status on our relationship, he never told me if I was doing anything that he didnt like. He didnt tell me he had a car accident until sunday cuz he wanted to know more info before he told me but i wished he just told me when it happen. I had a theroy of why he was leaving me cuz he was afraid that I would be the same as one of his ex that lied and self cut. after making a plan with crisis I couldnt go to sleep so i stayed up until morning and got like a 3 hour of sleep. I found out that my theroy was right and he still didnt want to try to make it work, so I kept trying hoping there might be a chance. I told him I wasn't like his ex and I know I needed help and that I was going to get help with or without him even if I was scared. I told him, begging wanting him to trust me and know I wouldnt be like the other person who had hurt him. I told him that if he wanted to still fight for our love that I would love to have him be by my side helping me to get help on how to cope with my feelings and stop cutting. After reading he still said no and wanted to be just friends. I was dissappoint but I knew he was scared and I knew I had to then respect his wishes even if it was hurting me inside as I still love him so much that he brought the best of me when I was with him. As I'm typing this right now I'm panicking wanting him still missing him wishing he would at least give me a chance to prove to him I wasn't like his ex. I don't know what to do since I still love him. I know I have to let him go but I also don't want him to think that not every girl who self harm is going to be the same as the last. I am so confused and hurting.