Maybe it's not the relationship itself you're grieving but the hopes and dreams you had for it and your family. We don't set out imagining that we'll end up as single parents and in a perfect world, it's not what we want for our kids. Sometimes I think it's harder to let go of the hopes and dreams and that picture we have in our heads than it is to let go of the person.
Anger is part of the grief cycle and it will pass although I do agree the grief thing gets old fast.
Hope you have a good weekend and your day gets better. Hugs to you!

I am going through a similar situation. My relationship with my husband is dead. The emotional gap between us is so far apart that we have made our marriage miserable. He has cheated on me and I for some reason can not let go. I know in my mind that this is not what I want for myself or my children. I know I deserve way better. I know I want to be happy and he does not make me happy, and truly I don't think we can ever make each other happy again. But, for some reason I have not left yet. My whole life has been about him and things we did together, with his family, the parties, the vacations, the good times, that seem to blind what is really wrong with the relationship. I know we are no good being together, but I am afraid of letting go everything else. So, I'm confused...don't know what I feel. Do I still love this guy (after everything he has done and said to me, how can I still feel love for this person?) or am I just afrdaid of letting everything go?
What I really want to say to you is, I know exactly how you may feel...

Your wrote: "I should be the happiest person on the planet"

That statement sticks out b/c makes me realize that we are never satisfied b/c. We are as happy as we want to be - as we make ourselves be. We are happy when we stop depending on others to make us happy - we simply decide that we will be. This aren't just saying that sound cute - this is how it is.

When you wake up one day and decide that you will be at peace - and that's what really brings joy - PEACE, and not PEOPLE - you will then be happy and free. Placing our joy in the hands of others is the for sure way to stay miserable.

Best wishes.

It's hard but Millie is correct. Relying on someone else for our happiness is lethal. Gotta get comfortable alone and find happiness somehow. It's tough but it's the truth. Good luck.

I think the whole "putting my happiness in some one else's hands" thing is something that I am very much guilty of myself. I'm having a very hard time coming to terms that I had ever given someone that much power over my life. And I think my ex-fiance knew when shortly after her arrival that I might have done just that, perhaps she sensed that in some.e way she held some of the power and control over my life.

Through out the relationship, and as it has been pointed out by others since her departure, that I had given way to much of myself to this woman who didn't know how to handle such control. They tell me that they saw this level of control I blindly handed to my ex-fiance being exploited several times into getting me into various positions where she could get something out of it.

I've learned the very hard way as to not give any future woman or women in my life that type of control over me again. Because when my ex-fiance walked out the front door for the last time, boarded her shuttle van, hopped on her plane and flew out of here, little did she knew she was still being in her hands my happiness, I feel like she knowing took it with her, with never any intentions of returning it.

So right now I feel like an emotionless vessel, numb, tired, panicky, depressed, anxious, but all the while not feeling very Happy, this has been going on pretty much since August 3rd, the day she left. But there had been slight bouts of mild depression coming on about a month or two before her departure.

The hopes and dreams she and her family worked together to shatter, just lost, just lost........and the anger, fricking hard to get over!

I think I need some meds!

Good luck finding a healthy way of dealing with the anger, when you find out if whatever worked for you, do you mind sharing? The info would be move valuable than a bar of gold!