I'm so sorry, I totally understand how you feel, I'm a mess too and as soon as someone asks how am I doing? I can't help it and I start to cry. It helped me to go to a support group I found online they meet every week in my city, also just let it out, I think our bodies want to get rid of the sadness and crying is the way to do so. I also started taking some homeopathic medicine and valerian root to help me sleep. I hope you feel better soon, hang in there, I know it's hard. Sending your way lots of love.

The first 4 months after my ex moved out were
Brutal. I could barely function, i went to work and
Got home as soon as i could. I would just cocoon
And be as kind and gentle with myself as possible.

I have no children so i was fortunate in only having
a cat to contend with. I do not envy people with
children going thru this.

After the divorce things calmed down for me that
took 10 Months start to finish. I moved out and went
total no contact with him except thru the mail.

I know we have different setups, time takes time,
going to Therapy and joining a breakup group will
help a lot. Live support Is very important for many
reasons. It helps us to look within, face ourselves
And our part and then we can start to heal.

Both my jobs were supportive and i did not get a bad
review. We all have stuff to move thru deaths, illnesses
and then there are divorces/breakups. My clients seemed
to be alright too, Not once did anyone ask me if i Had been
crying. They can sense your sadness, HUGS

things will get better, just know you're never alone. seek to try new things, get out and enjoy life in new ways or ways you always wanted. its ok to ask for help

thats exactly how i feel, my co worker just asked me why im so quiet today if everything is okay and i literally almost burst into tears. i couldnt go to the gym this morning because of how much i cried last night. all i want to do is cry. the nights seem so long and during the day seems unbearable

I'm still the same way too, I ran into 2 of my friends in the mall and they asked if everything was ok and I just started crying, I can't wait til the day I wake up I don't think of my ex or cry about him anymore.

as tough as it sounds, the crying eases as you decide to take action and work on you for the sake of you

I finally am to the point where it takes something specific to make me cry, and not for long, but total time was about 5 months. I don't know your exact situation, but for me, filing final papers help me come to the realization that the madness will end. I can say this, you will run out of tears, but it is different for everyone. I think of it like a boat that is try to find it's equilibrium at sea; when all the weight is on one side it leans that way, as the weight shifts to the other side to balance it can be too much. But after much back and forth and feeling sea-sick; eventually it will balance and things will smooth out. Don't beat yourself up because you can't quite find that balance, the balance will find you keep looking.

"as tough as it sounds, the crying eases as you decide to take action and work on you for the sake of you"

This was the truth of the matter for me as well. I was a COMPLETE wreck for about 4 months. Had to come to accept that things were what they were and start working on doing things for me.

They say "fake it until you make it". You may not know why you need to get out and start doing activities. People have told you to get out and start doing stuff. Even if you REALLY don't feel like it force yourself to get out there and do things.

Eating healthy, working out, quit nicotine, get some dental work done, go to a movie, joining a pool league, enjoying a nice meal out, learn guitar, etc. I'm the one who benefited from all of these things. They made me feel better about who I was as a person. (This is MY real list by the way. Not some random examples.)

They got me into a new routine with things that were about me rather than about my past.

There's a reason that people in AA take things 1 day at a time. That's the only time you can control. Just work on putting one foot in front of the other and survive the next day, or hour, or 15 minutes. Then do it again. In time (a long time mind you) things will start to be less painful.

Go get a therapist. SERIOUSLY. Start working through your feelings.

If you're religious get in touch with your pastor and set up some counseling. Have them get you in contact with someone in the congregation that's been through something similar. See what small group studies they have during the week and take part in those.

The WORST times I had in the early days were holed up in my house all alone. There is just way too much time for your brain to wander into the bad places.

The best times I had were getting massacred (my skills leave something to be desired) in the pool league I joined. I met a TON of new people (even as an introvert) as acquaintances and about a dozen people I consider friends and interact with on a regular basis.

-----

All that being said grieving is going to happen. It's going to suck. It's going to take time. There is no magic bullet that's going to change that. Do some stuff to counteract the terrible. Find some people who you can share with. Find a counselor. Get some faith based counseling at your church as well.

You will survive this. You're worth getting through this for. You're going to come out of this a better person and better able to give and receive love. YOU'RE NOT ALONE!

well put LostAnd Rejected

so... the question you're seeming to ask retrunofthemack, while the wounds are fresh or you stuck contemplating why, is how do you take the next step to healing? if i missed the mark please say so

look for activities you enjoy; an old or new hobby, exercising (it could start as walks or bike riding), reconnecting with old or new friends (there are free meet up groups all over the place), take a class, focus your energy on job advancement, seek counselling to help as you need - theres no shame in doing so... sing, dance or read to take your mind off things, and above all else know that your world won't change overnight, things do get better day by day

I totally understand how you feel, going through the same thing. I cry at the drop of a hat also. I'll be fine and all of a sudden I think of something and I'm a puddle of tears. I missed the last 2 days of work. Just wallowed in my pain, depression and anxiety. I can't do that anymore. I can't afford to, I can't lose my job. today I did get out of the house and go grocery shopping. Just picked up a few things. I did feel a bit better getting out. I know it will get better, been through this before, but it does take time. I've been told the same things Dragonflywishes said to do. They do help but it's really hard to do sometimes. We have to do some of these things. You and I, and others on here.

Was at the eye doctor today after learning 48 hours ago my husband of 14 years is "done - checking out". The doctor said "How are you today" and I lost it... Reassured her my tear ducts had been seeing some exercise" and proceeded to sit there and sob. This kind lady looked at me and said the dreaded words "it will be okay" which made me cry harder. then she said "It will be different but I promise you it will be okay - it will be a different kind of okay" I found comfort in that. so night three of the sour stomach and no sleep. Co-workers were kind enough to tell me today that I looked drained as obviously I am not broadcasting what is happening in my private life.... Terrified about living along again after all this time. Terrified as my company recently went through a merger and I could easily loose my job now that I need to be 100% self sufficient. Was I a perfect wife - no. Was he a perfect husband - no. Neither of us cheated he has just decided there is someone better for him out there.

And it will stop. It’s easier said than done, but place your attention and focus on something or someone else. In time, the pain will go away. I know because I’ve been there too. It’s not easy, or a quick fix. But I know it helps. Take care!