I am in the same situation. My husband of 15 years left 11 years ago for 5 weeks. And he left this past Oct. and is still gone I thought we were okay. This is the worst time of my life and I am sure yours, too. All I can say is follow YOUR heart. If people tell you let it go, if she says no to trying, you have to do what your heart wants. I wish still every day to have a chance to make it right between us. Nobody cheated, no trust is gone but my husband doesn't want to try. I do. I must strive for what I want and think is best for my family. You should do what you think is best for your situation. Don't give up, ask her about maybe counseling. Every no is another opportunity for there to be a yes. Get lot's of rest and find time to be with friends. Nobody except for the two of you can make it better but don't give up till YOU are ready.

-hugs-

I apologize that your emotions are tormenting you. There is nothing wrong with trying to work on issues. There is nothing wrong with trying again! Although, it has to be the two of you working on it together. If she cannot try there is no point in hoping she ever will. I completely understand where you are coming from, I still have a small tiny hope that my ex will return. I am slowly crushing that hope because it's unhealthy for my healing process.

Basically - save yourself! Don't hurt yourself more by turning the issue over and over in your mind. Love yourself, & remember who you are. Always a msg away! I support you in all decisions you make. Even if you feel like you're taking steps backward from moving on, it's normal! We all are there with you.

I'm in a similar position. My husband left in December. Just walked in and said i am done, not in love anymore, i want to separate. The day before we were writing Christmas cards and making New Year's Eve plans. If i say a ton of bricks fell on me it would be an understatement. I've been dealing with what you're contemplating - the wishing, the wanting them back.... you can feel free to peruse my journal - it's a lonely and heartbreaking road. Not to say that you don't have a shot, but it really takes two and I am finally getting that anyone capable of just leaving like that is not exactly the type to come back and truly give it their best. And it's not your fault. And you do deserve better even if right now it doesn't feel like it nor does it help to hear. A friend of mine put it best: I can tell you all the platitudes you hear from everyone and they won't help. You want your love back. It sucks. Be kind to yourself. Remember how many people in your life love you and are there for you and let time heal the wounds.