Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I have been with my bf for 5 months.
He is a great person but I find that its hard for him to talk about his feelings.
I recently saw that he was texting his ex and some random person, and was alarmed by it.
I told him I needed space BC I keep thinking that he doesn't really know what he wants.
& a couple days pass by and he states he doesn't know what love is and therefore doesnt know if he loves me.
I dont know how to take this or what to do. Please share your thoughts and insights.
What was his childhood like? How did his family show love/appreciation? This can all play into what he is feeling now.
Hope this helps ;)
I know that he has had a home different from mine and somewhat similar, I wasn't always willing to show emotion all the time or appreciation.
I just feel so used and not appreciated. I feel like since I found him texting other people that maybe I am just not someone he feels comfortable growing and being open with.
Listen to your heart, you deserve more.
One of my ex boyfriends said something similar, that he was incapable of love, and didn’t believe in it. At the time as naive as I was I thought I could be the one to provoke these feelings in him, if I showed him love, that I realised he had lacked a lot of his life he would magically fall in love with me.
It only lasted 8 months, he wasn’t a bad person nor was I ....but I could never have the relationship I always wanted with him.
Please don’t find excuses for him, or reasons, don’t settle for less than what you want.
If I could go back in time I wouldn’t have wasted those 8 months, I would have used them on myself, because I put so much energy into someone when I could have been working on myself for the right person to come a long.
Being completely honest although I know it’s very much easier said than done, I would walk away. Because at this point he obviously knows you're more invested than he is, and if he’s willing to let you settle...you should be questioning his motives,
The more you bend, the more likely he’ll break you, not because he’s bad, but some people are just wired to take advantage of situations if it’s handed to them. He wouldn’t even see he’s doing it, like with the messaging, he probably didn’t think you should be upset with it, although most people including myself would be.
He evolves and learns thru a lot. I just thought he would be able to do this. But the fact that he isnt willing to learn to do it, I've decided to leave. My heart can't bare it.