Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I have finally figured out what is going on with my wife!!! This is interesting.
My wife grew up very sheltered and had a limited social life. When she went to college she went to a strict Christian College and she had a limited social life. When she got out of college she came home and went to work for the Commonwealth Attorney's office and spend a lot of time around home and family and she still had a limited social network. She thought that she was ready for a commitment and we got married. WHen she changed jobs and started working in a large work environment she met new people and she started wanting to be more social. She feels like being married to me holds her back from going out with her friends.
The good news is that I know what happened to me. The bad news is that I can do nothing but sit back and watch and hope that she gets this out of her system and realizes what she lost. She is not out with other men and she isn't cheating.
The real bad news is that my wife is a person who sets their mind to do something and does it. I have always given her advice in the past (I see a lot of things and I learn a lot from my life experiences) but she never took it. She would always come back later on and say that I was right.
The million dollar question is how long do I wait for to find out what she wants and what she wants to do? The other interesting thing is that has been going on for two years already while we were married.
My wife grew up very sheltered and had a limited social life. When she went to college she went to a strict Christian College and she had a limited social life. When she got out of college she came home and went to work for the Commonwealth Attorney's office and spend a lot of time around home and family and she still had a limited social network. She thought that she was ready for a commitment and we got married. WHen she changed jobs and started working in a large work environment she met new people and she started wanting to be more social. She feels like being married to me holds her back from going out with her friends.
The good news is that I know what happened to me. The bad news is that I can do nothing but sit back and watch and hope that she gets this out of her system and realizes what she lost. She is not out with other men and she isn't cheating.
The real bad news is that my wife is a person who sets their mind to do something and does it. I have always given her advice in the past (I see a lot of things and I learn a lot from my life experiences) but she never took it. She would always come back later on and say that I was right.
The million dollar question is how long do I wait for to find out what she wants and what she wants to do? The other interesting thing is that has been going on for two years already while we were married.
I feel that I am better off now, but I feel bad for feeling that way. I am not supposed to think that way.
I don't think that I can wait forever for her. I don't want to be a trailer.
i can take my own advice!
I'll keep reading. Maybe someone will have the answer that we are looking for.
As girls all we know is finding someone who loves us and then you marry them. We have a wedding in our head and plan to do all of the things you're supposed to do. After doing what she was supposed to do where was there left to go. Someone showed her a life that she finds interesting but clashed with the life she had with you. I know there are two sides to every story and your version makes her sound pretty bad and that's all we have to go by. She really sounds like she is into herself with no room for anything else.
I agree that it would be helpful if the two of you could get into counseling at least so that you can put the two stories that you both have of your marriage into context with each other. Because in a marriage, there are always two stories. Sometimes through counseling you can get the two on the same page, but if one person is emotionally absent, counseling is often unsuccessful.
How long can you wait until she changes again? The wait will probably kill you.
She told me that a friend told her that she had left the relationship months ago. She has been pretty cold but we still talk about financial things. I haven't heard from her for a few days. I don't like talking with her because it weakens me. She can't say what is going to happen.
Is she afraid of what she'll find out? Or does she just not see the point in counseling?
Oh perhaps her whole belief system is caving in on itself, and you're just a reminder of that...?
Just seems kinda odd for someone who has the background you described to go out and act erratically like this, unless there was some kind of mold being broken. Perhaps this is her true personality that has been repressed finally coming out?