Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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thiscantbeit 07/29/2017

I wake up everyday thinking of him. I go through a roller coaster of anger, hurt, disappointment, hopelessness. It just feels endless. These emotions just take turns having their way with me. I'm tormented with mixed thoughts of the life he's living now and some of the memories of what we shared. I don't understand that after giving all that I had and being so good to him and so good for him, how can he be better off without me? And trust that I don't want to think about what he's doing now - or think about him at all for that matter - but it's like my mind has a mind of its own as much as I fight it. The hurt of this is so deep rooted. I hate that I feel so powerless to do anything about it. No matter what I try, the hurt and torment remains. I haven't allowed myself to ball up and die because I've worked hard to be where I am. So I continue to function. But its been more than a year and I just can't seem to shake this heaviness. I don't feel sorry for myself, but I'M TIRED and I just want it to go away. I know that's unrealistic but it doesn't change that it's how I feel. The love of my life. The one who I believed was my soulmate. He knew what he meant to me. Why did he get to do this to me and be ok? And me, so undeserving of this, I have to figure out how to work through this and live in a new normal? It's so unfair. I know I'm not perfect, but I know I'm a good woman and I know I was a good woman to him. My love was more than just words, it was in everything I did for him. Because I loved him the way I did and he claimed to love me the same, I put everything I had into him. And it hurts so bad that he didn't value that, that he didn't value me. I hate him for doing this to me. God help me, please!

Punk 07/29/2017

Hi im new here i read your post and it sounds to me like someone is holding on if he wanted to split and sell he would have those documents in a flash but hold strong and move forward there plenty of life time to keep living.

jojored 07/29/2017

Have you tried therapy? I only did marriage counseling, but it helped me to understand the dysfunction that was my marriage. It brought a lot of clarity to me as to WHY he behaved as he did, despite me telling him how I felt. And why I responded the way I did. After that, I was able to more easily separate the reality that was from the vision that I had been holding onto. And now I understand that he's just never going to give a $hit about how he's hurt me, he will never accept responsibility for himself. It seems you're stuck in the acceptance phase of divorce, that's the stage in my opinion where you need to build a really long ladder so you can climb out of the pit. I don't know any tricks or tips other than trying to understand why the marriage failed and that you can be better off in the long run. I'm not sure of your specifics, but if he cheated and couldn't love you enough to be a decent husband, you weren't really in a good two way marriage, despite thinking so at the time. Think about the reality that was - versus the vision you had of what you wanted in your marriage. They weren't the same, I'm betting. Keep your chin up, there's a beautiful world out there for us to experience every day. Look for that, look at a little bit more every day. (sorry how sappy that sounds).

thiscantbeit 07/29/2017

Thank you for your comment. I appreciate it. For the record, I wasn't married. But it is a breakup that none the less has broken me. I know that there were red flags but my love for him wanted to believe him and believe in him. He's not a bad person, how he's handled this is. Again, thank you.

JBroken 07/29/2017

I am so sorry you are going through this. You are not alone I myself am going riding the same rollercoaster as you. It's terrible. I just keep reminding myself that it is his loss, I deserve better and I will get through this.

ifinallygetit 07/29/2017

I am right there with you. The roller coaster of emotions I can feel in a day is overwhelming. Just try to take it one day at a time, hour by hour, minute by minute. I am currently (unsuccessfully) working on no contact. It is very difficult as I can only seem to remember the good but not the bad PM me if you want to talk. Hugs

thiscantbeit 07/31/2017

JBroken and ifinallygetit. Thank you so much for your comments. I really appreciate the solidarity. It sucks that so many of us are going through this but its good to know that I'm not crazy for feeling and thinking this way. I am here for you as well. - Hugs

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