Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
It's been 11 days since my ex-girlfriend broke off the relationship. Let's see, what feelings have I cycled through?
Denial - Yeah, a bit. But knowing her I was pretty sure it was final.
Depression - An acute sense of loss & lonliness - through this past Sunday. I finally cried my eyes out more than a few times both Saturday and Sunday. My sleep was terrible as was my ability to function at work. It's lessened a bit now. I'm sleeping somewhat better, not feeling exhausted and today was a somewhat productive day at work.
Anger - Not to be confused with hate, but it's starting to set in, and it's not only directed at her, but some of it at me too. I still do love her and care for her, but at the same time I am angry at more than a few of her words, actions and decisions.
I suppose this is all normal and just has to be. I'm certain it will eventually fade and life will return to normal. Heheh, I just wish I wasn't in the midst of a Central New York winter and getting hammered by lake effect storms. It seems to add to my gloomy state of mind.
What am I doing to move forward? As I haven't been living here too long, and work has been very demanding, I haven't made any close friends yet. I do have several people I can talk to on the phone regularly about it.
I deleted all text messages, emails, cell logs of missed, received and dialed calls, as well as contact info.
I estblished a No Contact rule which she broke twice. She hasn't since Saturday, and I'm just letting that sleeping dog lie, but if she does so again I have a polite email drafted and all set to go. It's a bit more firm than the previous attempt and stresses it's what I feel is best for me.
I also belong to two meetup groups that host several events each week. Doesn't seem to help much now, but I know it's better than sitting at home alone all the time.
I also volunteered to usher and greet at my church. It's a small thing but it is something.
Oh, and just for good measure I utilized my company's EAP and have a free counseling session setup for this coming Saturday. Can't hurt, right? I just want to do anything and everything to help this pass as quickly as possible.
Denial - Yeah, a bit. But knowing her I was pretty sure it was final.
Depression - An acute sense of loss & lonliness - through this past Sunday. I finally cried my eyes out more than a few times both Saturday and Sunday. My sleep was terrible as was my ability to function at work. It's lessened a bit now. I'm sleeping somewhat better, not feeling exhausted and today was a somewhat productive day at work.
Anger - Not to be confused with hate, but it's starting to set in, and it's not only directed at her, but some of it at me too. I still do love her and care for her, but at the same time I am angry at more than a few of her words, actions and decisions.
I suppose this is all normal and just has to be. I'm certain it will eventually fade and life will return to normal. Heheh, I just wish I wasn't in the midst of a Central New York winter and getting hammered by lake effect storms. It seems to add to my gloomy state of mind.
What am I doing to move forward? As I haven't been living here too long, and work has been very demanding, I haven't made any close friends yet. I do have several people I can talk to on the phone regularly about it.
I deleted all text messages, emails, cell logs of missed, received and dialed calls, as well as contact info.
I estblished a No Contact rule which she broke twice. She hasn't since Saturday, and I'm just letting that sleeping dog lie, but if she does so again I have a polite email drafted and all set to go. It's a bit more firm than the previous attempt and stresses it's what I feel is best for me.
I also belong to two meetup groups that host several events each week. Doesn't seem to help much now, but I know it's better than sitting at home alone all the time.
I also volunteered to usher and greet at my church. It's a small thing but it is something.
Oh, and just for good measure I utilized my company's EAP and have a free counseling session setup for this coming Saturday. Can't hurt, right? I just want to do anything and everything to help this pass as quickly as possible.
I hope that your recovery is speedy and calm.
We are all here for you (in case it isn't)
What really irks me about my situation is the extremely low tolerance my ex has for anything that deviates from her perception of tranquility and stability. I really should have known better before investing so much of my emotional energy into the relationship and possibilities and that irks me too.
Here's a lady that's quit her job twice in the past 3 years without another job lined up because of too much stress. And she has 10 year old triplets and an ex hubby that can be a pain with child support.
When I first asked her out, she rebuffed me, explaining dating a co-wroker isn't a good idea. If things went badly and she felt too uncomfortable, she absolutely couldn't afford to lose her job becuase of her boys. She eventually reconsidered and we started dating. Then 3 weeks into our relationship when things were going absolutely great she does quit her job. Doh!!!
She says she doesn't like drama, but my perception is most of the drama in our relationship was triggered by her. There would have been a lot more but on several occassions I just bit my tongue...
Oh well, lesson learned, and the hard way!