Murphy, are you receiving any type of therapy or counseling? I think it would really help. I understand how you feel. Six months later and the all-consuming rage comes and goes although it is happening less and less frequently. Gets me how some people can be so evil and cruel to their spouse. Just don't get it.

That sucks Murphy...I'm really sorry you are hurting so much right now. All we can do is take it moment by moment sometimes. The heart wants what it wants, but sometimes its not best or we just can't have it. You have to give your brain time to catch up to your new reality too...there is no set time table, but the more you stay in that place...the more pain you will be in.

Picking up the pieces and building a new life can be so hard...but you deserve to offer that chance to yourself...you never know where it may take you. Don't stop living b/c she isn't around. Doing that only gives her power over you that shouldn't be allowed and it will eat you up in the end. Honor the relationship for what it was at one time...but recognize what it has become, and try to find some peace with it so you can start putting your heart back together. Time just takes time...hang in there.

it takes time, hugs and prayers to you.

Thank you for all your kind words and understanding.
I start therapy in two weeks.....after so much frustration
and 4 weeks on antidepressants...I think

Murphy, please know that I too feel the ups and downs, sadness and hope, confusion and clarity that well all feel...sometimes all in one day..you have many times made comments when I was down to make me feel better.

I wish I knew what to say to do the same...feeling hurt sucks and I too want it to go away, I want to stop crying (and it is lessening).. I was with my STBX for 27 years, all very happy... but I guess not. No one really knows what someone else is thinking... so all we can do is worry about ourselves and try to control that. Good Luck, getting through each day... my thoughts and prayers are with you.

thank you nancy

Murphy.....I know what you are feeling. Yesterday I was told by my atty. that she has proceeded with the divorce. I am now in counseling and I see my pastor weekly. As much as possible, I speak with others that have gone through something similar for support, a listening ear, and advice.

I pray to God each and every day for assistance through this time. It is the hardest thing any of us on here will ever have to do. Like Aurora said....time just takes time. One day at a time. Know that my prayers are with you.

Murph, you obviously love very deeply. That is an awesome thing. It can bite you in the but if you don't love wisely. :( But now you know what to look out for, now you are wiser than before. Make a list of the things she did to hurt you, to betray you, and when you are missing her, look at them. Remember how they made you feel. Think about being trapped in a relationship like that with someone who doesn't love you as much as you love them for the rest of your life. These are the things that help me. :) HUGS

I think you can help yourself by not thinking of yourselves as the perfect couple. You weren't, or you would still be together. You are idealizing your relationship, which obviously wasn't ideal or you would be together. Time to put the reality glasses on and see this relationship for what it was. It is over and done with, so stop dwelling on the past. It's gone. All you have is the future, and it's yours to make of it what you will. Do you want your future to consist of pining away for a lost love, or do you want happiness? I hope you choose happiness. Therapy will help you immensely in getting there.

No, I do want happiness....I guess
But letting go is such a hard thing
Things were so good with us up until this year when she began to change.
I am starting to come to terms...I think