I would join a grief group like divorce Care.
Grief is a process and it takes time To move
thru, add in rejection, hurt and Pain. There
Will be very powerful feelings and Emotions
that are often very uncomfortable and Hard
to sit with that will come out too. Talk therapy
will help you too.

During the holidays i play lots of meditation
Music from you tube. It helps with the Squirrel
brain from thansgiving to new years. Its all the
unconscious triggers that will not rest since i
Am alone now. I can not stop or redirect them.

I know you have anxiety problems keep A good
eye on them this is going to be a rough Ride. I only
had divorce related and it is bad Enough and It
still lingers as i heal, HUGS

I deal with this pretty regularly especially the first few months after he left. My issue is I think about when we first met and our wedding and all the happy times we had together. I rarely think about what a horrible person he really is and how he emptied our bank account and destroyed me for every man after me. However, I will tell you it does get easier, when you consume yourself with work and other activities and put them in the back of your mind you can almost feel normal. Its a process of healing and I promise one day it will get easier. (((hugs))).

Please read "Chump Lady." You can find her on the internet. I promise her blog and book will help you feel better.

Hey hugabus.
My wife is distant from me as well. We are still living together but there have been talks about separating for a bit so she can get in touch with herself to find her true happiness. With or without me
I hug her everyday and kiss her forehead and barely get a hug back. It KILLS me to not have any of that affection back but if she leaves me then at least she knows I loved her. So the unwanted / horrible feeling sits with me as it does you!!! May of us in this together.

All relationships have times when the couple struggles and feel distant. Those are the times we have to rejuvenate our relationship and do things differently. One big thing I ask myself during those times is Have I been takings my Spouse for granted? Have I expressed my appreciation for them on a continual basis lately? Have I focused on things she does well? I look for new ideas from good books on marriage and I listen to marriage programs on Christian radio. I have also found that praying with my wife is a very good thing for our marriage. Ask your wife if you could start praying for your marriage together (does not have to be elaborate). Maybe attend a marriage encounter at a church near you if you think she is willing. Prayers that things go much better for you and your wife!