You don't deserve to be treated like that. If you knew someone else who has children (another single mom?) who did have a house who needed help with childcare.... You could maybe work something out with her....To watch her kids along with yours sometimes (helping her with childcare, helping you with not having to pay such a hefty rental fee for new roof over your and kids heads)

Have you ever thought to check with a local church? Sometimes they can help find a solution to a bad situation
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Hubby should also be responsible for child (and spousal?) support.

My thoughts and prayers are with you (and your kids)

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice. You don't know how much I appreciate it. I haven't thought to ask a local church for help. I will now though. And sadly I don't have many friends left because of him. Or I would love to try that.

slap a restraining order on his ass and start to begin a new life never except less!

Punk I don't see any reasons for a restraining order. Doing so on a groundless basis only serves to piss off the spouse and makes you look like the boy calling wolf. I apologize if there is a backstory here that I don't know of, of physical, sexual or serious emotional abuse. My attorney actually, on the sly, suggested I get a restraining order against my then husband. He was passive aggressively stalling the divorce and some other issues, and did on one occasion slap something out of my hand. He also stated that although he wanted to hurt me, he knew that doing so would put him in jail. So very sweet of him. My ex is usually very passive, so I didn't really think I was in danger. Additionally, because we have children, I thought a restraining order would be more detrimental than beneficial in the long run.

I'm probably over analyzing your post, but your title and entire posting gives me different msg. Are you sure you don't love your husband or you love him but just fed up with your situation?

I apologize for asking but your entire msg discussed unhappiness on your relationship because of how your husband and treated you and not lost feeling about your husband. Again, I apologize if I over analyze your post.

Anyway, I think you need to step back and reach out your husband about counseling(if you haven't) - as you specifically pointed out, he's not the same after his mom passed away. He might be going through some issues that was only triggered by his mom passing. I'm not sure if you already tried talking to him about seeking marriage counseling or just him seeking professional help and he's just being dismissive with your basic needs and how much he changed.

But if think you've done everything and you also think that professional help will not help you and your husband, I think you need to plan your next steps. Leaving your husband without a concrete plan will put you and your kids in a very difficult situation. I also think your husband is putting you on a short leash by using money to control you in some ways. And given that you're not working, you have limited resources and will continue to depends on him on anything and everything. Giving him all the power and control. I think you need to change that first.
Have you tried talking to your husband about you getting a job and hiring babysitter while you work?

Btw, aside from church, I think you should also find non profit organization that can help you- like Wings, Abused women shelter, etc. I think you can qualify to housing choice voucher as well(formerly knoAn as section 8) given that you're not working + with kids.

If you're a book reader, getting past your break up is a good book to read. I think you and the author have similar situation.

If there is love left it's so little it's like a pinpoint I can't be with someone who is emotionally abusive and draining and it just sucks because I feel like I don't have a way out like I have nowhere to go. He is a very unreasonable person. I always suggest counseling but he won't do it. He says I need to be put on depression medicine. I am not depressed and I'd I was it would be bc of him.

Hello Cici, I hear that you are feeling hurt and are frustrated with the situation you're in with your husband right now. That's got to be difficult for you. I acknowledge you for reaching out. It sounds like you are ready to take a step to find help. Good for you. Leslie Vernick's book, The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope is a good resource. She also has a website www.leslievernick.com that you can join and receive her emails and watch her videos.

Do you have a faith or a belief system that you can turn to right now? Finding help at a church was mentioned in one of the replies. This is good advice in that a church can also provide spiritual support as well as shelter and other needs. You can also make new friends and connect with other women at a church. And, if you take your children to Sunday school, they too can make friends. It sounds like you could use a loving support system right now. I will pray for you and your children and your husband.

BLessings to your family.

Honey, have you talked with your parents? You've got to. Lay it all on the table. you need emotional support. Sounds like maybe when your husbands mom died, he suffered depression from it and didn't get treatment. So he takes it out on you and the kids. He needs help. A lot of men wont accept that though. Would he talk about that?? would he consider counselling if he knew you seriously wanted it to be over? or would that just anger him? Try these thing first, before you leave.
If he is not willing to get help and is nasty to the point of emotional abuse and or physical abuse, then you have to get away from him. He sounds pretty controlling with money. I dont know if he has to be so you can avoid going into debt, or if he is just selfish and buys foolish things for himself and leaves you and the kids out in the cold??? I dont know you or him, so forgive me if i say the wrong thing. Hoping this gets you thinking. :)

I've talked to my parents and they are emotionally there for me but they don't have room for me and can't help with babysitting. I am a Christian but do they have a church right now bc I quit going and don't have many to lean on for support. This morning I told my husband I didn't love him anymore and told him why and he played the victim even said he was the victim. It doesn't matter what I say to him he always throws it back in my face. He won't do couseling I asked him today and he said he wasn't gonna waste time on me anymore it's a loss cause and then called me names. I am.beyond scared. Everything needs to change and I don't have a way to change it

You might have felt you didn't have a way to change things before, but you do. It's not easy, it's a huge lengthy process. So you start small. Go find a church, join it or rejoin your old one, let them know your situation. Go to a county/town agency for assistance. My county has services there for women in transition, and I took advantage of that. Join divorcecare.org, it's ok to do even if you're just starting to consider divorce. They are christian based, this would probably be an excellent place for you. Take a deep breath and ... start. The hardest part of divorce in my opinion is telling your spouse you want a divorce, and the first time you reach out for help. After that, things become a little easier.