Hello MiLady

Yeah, sounds pretty gutless, doesn't it? You need a rock, from the sound of it, especially at the moment, someone strong to lean on, a man in other words. Can well understand the cacophony of different emotions that must be roaring around inside your head and heart at the moment - betrayal, sadness, isolation, loneliness, confusion, doubts about yourself etc. Very easy to feel overwhelmed here honey. Do yourself a huge favourTake some time alone with a pad of paper and a pen (tea and a few bikkies optional:)) and write out how you are feeling, everything you are feeling. Then deal with each one, one at a time, and sort out what you could feel within yourself instead. See, emotions really sting oftentimes because they affect us at a gut level and we really don't know exactly what we are feeling, just that it feels really bad and we don't know what to do = crisis. Get perspective by just writing it all out, then look at it as objectively as you can and empower yourself. You deserve a man, not a boy. You deserve to be treated well. You deserve respect, honesty, and love. These are basic things everyone deserves. To settle for anything less is to accept yourself as a less being, and that will not do. There are plenty of thoroughly decent men out there who are looking for a classy woman, but you have to put it out there first, and you do that largely by how you feel about yourself inside, which then translates to how you carry yourself and so on, and others will pick up on it. You know this I am sure, it is basic common sense. Hope this helps, and a big warm hug to you (you're lucky this is text only, I tickle people in person if I am in the mood;-)

There are all too many boy-men out there. You just need time to mourn what you thought you had and who you thought he was. Your feelings of loss are real. Just because he was a turd doesn't make it any less sad and you have a right to cry. Often times, it's our disappointment over the dreams we had that will never come to pass and the memories we feel we are losing, not the reality of who this person is that saddens us the most. Mourn them, and eventually you will see things much more clearly. If this "man" was so immature that he left the relationship in such a shady way then surely there were other signs of his less than stellar character throughout the relationship. For me, I've finally gotten to the point where the end of my relationship is the beginning of my self respect. I won't apologize for loving myself first anymore or compromise my ideals for anyone. Eventually, when I feel really healthy and good..I'll date again, drawing a better partner to myself and not settling for someone who shows red flags early on.

Plenty of decent real men out there ladies, but sometimes they come "wrapped" badly. After getting involved with other people, a lot of whom are superficial, or not dull, or just not of good character, it is easy to become jaded. I love the movie "The Fisher King", came out in 1991 and is a very touching story. I use it as a reminder that even love lost can put us in touch with our deepest selves and that there ya never know when something truly wonderful will turn up in your life if you just don't give up on things. Get the movie if you have't seen it, truly inspirational. Here's a link that sums up what I have been talking about (Spoiler alert: You might find yourself blubbing a bit at the end, but you will feel enriched afterwards). Enjoy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=4qo1Oi8lwtA

yes, let's not fall in to the "all men" do this trap. It's not true and it's not fair to those men who are not like that.
Not ALL men do this or that, anymore than ALL women do. So let's be fair, ok?

i can relate with the OP; i for one did marry someone who'd rather be a boy than a man. if you look at any and every choice he's made in the past year, maybe longer, it is what you'd expect of a teen, not a grown man. so i get it.

(although, i do agree that childish adults come in both male AND female form. sad to say but i have known women over the years that still play "Mean Girls" high school crap and treat their hubbies/boyfriends like garbage.) sure with grown ups could be mature when it comes to how we treat others. but i think, hope, and pray that my experiences are teaching me to choose more wisely in the future, and what to watch out for. big hugs to all.

should say "sure WISH" instead of "sure with"

need an edit function pretty please DS for those like me who type too fast

:)

Sorry to hear what u went thru i can relate to u also Amen to need a man Not a boy ,caught mine on dateing site after 2 yrs, not sure he met anyone there but pretty sure he did when he found out i may have cancer since i went to doc and they found a mass and i have to get major surgery this week he just discarded me like a piece of trash , when one acts in these ways they have tons of growing up to do, and the reality is we deserve better probably best we find out sooner then later how they really are and move on ourselfs....((hugs))) hang in there

Didn't say ALL men are like that... just that they're plentiful. Lol. Plenty of crappy women out there, as well.