Sorry you are going through this. It is very hard especially when they move on so quickly. Try to keep your self busy with hobbies, activities and focus on your self - I know that's easier said than done, but it does help. Lots of help and support here too so keep coming back. I have come along way and remember being where you are - I still think of him and her sometimes, but its not as bad as it was.

Thanks for the reply. Since I wrote this post I've been trying as hard as possible to keep active and distracted but the thoughts continue to persist. Especially at night. I just don't know what to do with myself. I can't carry on like this.

I've tried to talk about it with the very few people that I know but the subject always gets changed and I'm lost again.

It's like I've got a constant feeling of butterflies in my tummy that just won't go away. AAArrgghh!!

First, sorry for your loss. (bereavement)

Second, I am not sure of the actions that came from you because of the bereavement, but usually when someone is going through such a loss like someone dying, some leniency is given. But again, depends on what happened.

My guess tho, regardless of what happened, she would have probably found any reason to move on from you. I say this because when someone leaves another, and they are already with someone else shortly after, 99.9% of the time, the reason they left is because of the other person. However, I am only speaking from the people I know in real life and those who have passed through DS over the last several years as this was always the case in these situations.

I know thoughts of her with this other dude is and will continue to consume your mind until enough time has gone by or you to resolve your feelings.

Im sorry you find yourself in this situation, it isn't easy to move on from someone not loving or even caring about us anymore after all the time in it, but unfortunately, more and more people are taking a self indulgent, self centered or self entitled approach to how they not only handle life in general, but with relationships as well.And as more people accept then have to adpat, the shorter commitments will be to one another.

Welcome to the group

Sorry for your pain. Also the bereavement your going through. Here are some tips:

1) Stop blaming yourself. RIGHT NOW! It takes two to make it work, it takes two to break it. You don't want someone for a partner who couldn't support you in your time of need. That's her fault, not yours.

2) NO CONTACT. Do not respond to her in any way shape or form. Don't check her social media. Don't text her. Don't call her. Don't drive past her house or employer. Don't go to the places you spent time together if you don't have to. Don't listen to your song, or songs that remind you of her. Don't watch your favorite shows. Don't ask common friends about her. Don't talk to her family. Don't have sex with her, you can not be FWB. SHE DOES NOT EXIST ANYMORE! Contact with her will just keep you stuck.

3) Get it out. Talk here. Talk to friends. Talk to family. I strongly suggest writing in a journal-it helps track your progress. Do not hold these feelings in or you will explode.

4) Much as you don't want to, eat and rest. Make yourself eat, even if you are not hungry, even if it is just a little. Try deep muscle relaxation to sleep. You need all your energy to heal.

5) Find activities you want to do. Take a class, dancing, pottery, woodworking. Get a hobby and do it. Pick something that won't remind you of her, which may be hard because right now you will think everything reminds you of her, but trust me, it's not true. That is your mind playing games with you.

6) Find an uplifting mantra. Repeat it a million times a day if necessary.

7) Don't let unwanted thoughts take over you mind. If obsessive thoughts are taking over, snap a rubber band on your wrist. Or think of something happy and unrelated to her when they intrude.

8) If need be, talk to a counselor. You are suffering a death. Treat it like it's a death.

9) For those times you struggle most (mornings are hell for me, evenings aren't bad at all), have a plan in place. Call someone, go for a walk, exercise, journal, scream into a pillow. Keep your mind busy during the hard times.

10) Do not under any circumstances run out and start dating immediately. It is unfair to yourself and others who may become your unknowing rebound. I'm dealing with being someone's rebound and it hurts and sucks and was unfair for the other person to unleash themself on the public when they haven't dealt with their own grief (yes, I'm very bitter about this).

Gentle hugs.

Love is like an addiction. Your brain is missing that chemical high that it experienced when you were together. There has been research done on this, and this article is an example:

http://www.livescience.com/6695-romantic-love-addiction-researchers.html

Since this is like kicking an addiction, that is why no contact is so important. Every time you initiate contact, it's like smoking a cigarette and will set you back.

I'm sorry she seems to have moved on. It is most likely a rebound relationship, which is not a good idea.

Sorry about your two losses, one right after the other. From my experience, I've found that friends (and family) who knew BOTH of us just don't want to hear the details - puts them in a position where they feel they have to take sides. I've been that person, you probably have too, who knows both partners in a broken relationship. It's hard to know what to say, so too many times we say nothing or the wrong things. I've reached out to 2 good friends who I put on the back burner when I first felt that things were going south - they were the first I told of my problems, and I couldn't face them and what I thought would be their inevitable questions of "how are things going?". Luckily, they seem to understand my distancing them, and I really appreciate their support. Try to find someone to talk to. There must be breakup support meetings out there somewhere. I also journal, although that's not really me. I put down my thoughts and rants and when I'm feeling weak, re-read them to remind me to be strong. Good luck and be good to yourself.

Thanks again for the responses. The biggest problem I have now is I am absolutely GAGGING to talk to someone about this but there is nobody to speak to. I'm on the verge of telephoning the Samaritans just to hear a voice at the end of the phone. To clarify, I do NOT have family or friends to talk to. My only family anyway is my dad (he's in his 80s and never says the right thing).

Tell me... if someone you were once in a relationship with says categorically that they do NOT want you back, they started a relationship with a new person, that new relationship ended so they then went on a dating website, released that the other person (me) was hurt by that so promised to come off but they didn't, are still on there and have a new profile photo... what else will it take for me to realise this woman does NOT want me and how the hell can I move on?? It's now become a ridiculous obsession how often I check and see what she's up to. I'm desperate to have her back, but it's not gonna happen.
I have no friends or family to act as a distraction and this is driving me round the twist!! Help!!! :(

It's gonna take some discipline on your part. You need to do what you can to go NC. Stop checking up on what she's doing, don't text her, no social media, driving past her house, etc. You need to completely disengage. Two months out is not really all that long considering you had 2 years together, but you do need to take steps to start moving forward, because it doesn't sound like you have yet, and if you don't, you will stay stuck where you are. I highly recommend the book "Getting Past Your Breakup". I found it tremendously helpful after a terrible breakup. You need to make the decision to move on.