Hi Lloydie

I know it's hard, I can relate. It's an extremely hard thing to go thru and keep going thru,

A thing to do is when the thought of her enters your mind you need to block it out and tell it to scram!

You need to say out loud as many times as it gonna take....Say "Its Done" out loud to yourself" Say" Your Done with it and leave it in the rear view mirror,

She checked out before March 2017 and hasn't looked back. Loving something has left you and moved on is poison to you. Climb up from the bottom of that pit and draw a new line for yourself that is doesn't let you fall that deep anymore. That line starts with Love yourself first!

Look thru the front windshield your future is wondering what your waiting for. Its 2018 now.

Tough Love but It's what you need for the amount of time that has passed. Your worth it to have a life . The sooner you put new experiences in ya and do things that make you happy, the sooner you will become solid and be ready for someone that is waiting for you.

Your thinking about her but she isn't thinking about you. She has moved on.

That goes to show that i truely loved her but 12 years meant nothing to her.

You didn't say if you're legally divorced - if you are, then you just need to go no contact and try to more on from her. Good riddance to someone who hurt you so. If you're still married, I would go through with legally ending the marriage. There are no good reasons for keeping that legal entanglement to her, just more opportunities for her to mess with you. A restraining order - really?

Well it sounds like a terrible thing to go through. You're reaching out, and that's a good step for yourself. Right now, with a restraining order in place it doesn't sound like it's a good time (for whatever reason ) to pursue a relationship. The loneliness is hard, but I assure you that reaching out for other support will help. Stay connected here with us!

Hello,
There always two side on someone's story. I am truly sorry that you are suffering. There is help available, it is important that you reach out. Churches, social services etc...
You probably feel that your wife got a restraint order against you for no reason, but please know that to have a restraining order issues, there is many steps involved. First of all, I did to specify that I am from Canada so I don't know what are the differences with US and other Countries.
I had to request restraining orders in the past, and for it to be issues the Police has to be contacted, a statement needs to be issued then writing a victim impact service and affidavit which goes to the judge which sign and issue the order.
My ex, was not able to understand the restraining order which he breached several times. My situation was a live or die situation as I was into a situation of domestic violence. He kept saying he did not do anything and was denying the accusations. He was in stage of denial. His hand prints around my neck and the fractured ribs I had was a proof of the ordeal I was in. When I applied for the Emergency Protection order, we were both in court, he said he was angry with the judgement but agreed with the charges. He breeches the order twice and was sentenced for a few weeks. Than he failed to appear in court for our child custody and lost his custody. He was refusing do to Supervised parenting and still was in denial.

Everyone situations is different, you are probably a loving person whom will never abuse your spouse. So my heart goes to you.
When I went to therapy I learned this:
The five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief.
It will take time for you to heal.
I went into intense therapy when I left my marriage. It has been 10 years now. I am still in need of therapy .
I haven't seen him since our last court appearance, but he tried to contact me through facebook totally ignoring asking about our son which he has not seen in over 10 years. All he wanted to know if I missed him?
Some people choose to be happy and some people choose to rot in their misery.
Please choose you! You deserve to be happy!

lloydie79 Im so sorry. I recently had a boyfriend cheat on me and it crushed me. Im not even legal to drink so if freaking sucked. But the most important thing is that you will wake up one day and your going to realize that your going to be fine. Time heals all wounds. also drinking sometimes helps

I know it’s so hard. Excruciatingly painful. And the loneliness is unbearable. It almost feel like death. However, we can’t change people hearts. She has checked out. She is done. Long gone. She has already found her new “someone” (potentially her next victim). I do believe in the saying, “once a cheater, always a cheater”. You would think when someone cheats on you they will be the ones begging for forgiveness, asking you to give them one last chance, holding onto your ankle, feel remorse, repent, and everything else a decent, conscientious person would feel. However, I found out through my own divorce and my own cheating husband it’s completely the opposite. For some reason they feel entitled, and they feel they have the upper hand in the marriage after the infidelity, especially when you show vulnerability. You/us begging and pleading for their love just boosts their egos. It’s terrible... I still feel like walking around with a dagger stabbed in my stomach everyday, but they say this will pass. I’m hoping that day will come quickly for me... and for you too. Please stay strong. You’re going to make it, without her!

They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone .!

They do say that. But im a genuine guy and couldnt do that. X

You are close fisted which wont allow the universe to allow you to grasp what it has destined for you.How can you grasp what the Universe has in store for you the perfect beautiful lifelong mate if your fists are closed and you wont allow to let her go-I mean she is GONE but you wont release her from your inner soul.You dont have the right to do this its a lesser form of self sabotoge-be brave In your alone time when you are ready through tears open your fists slowly release her back into the universe and allow the universe to work its magic babe, bye!

If she doesn't want to be in the relationship then you are fighting a loosing battle. You need to focus on you and work on moving forward. You will get nowhere if you keep looking back. I did that and it slowed down my healing process.

Know that you are worth more and deserve more. When you get up in the morning tell yourself "I can move on", "I deserve better". Say it outloud so you can hear yourself.