Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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summer16 10/08/2017

it's been eight and a half months and i still cry every day and i wish i was dead and i can't move on. there's something terribly wrong with me and im only 14 and im scared i'll be like this forever since i haven't gotten better at all. i haven't seen him or spoken to him at all (we go to different schools and live half an hour away from each other) and i've tried every bit of advice but i still miss him more than i thought i could miss anyone. nobody compares and im always so unhappy. i wish i changed so he'd still like me and id be happy bc im so fucking sad without him. i want to die and it physically hurts. i wish i was good enough. the new him is a piece of shit but the old him was so beautiful and incredible. he said he's not even sorry. and i can't help hurting over him so it's useless when anyone says he isnt worth it, its not that easy. ive tried every bit of advice but nothing works and i just want to die. i feel so pathetic and im so tired of it. what do i do?

bluemoon29 10/08/2017

go forward. do the next right thing. you are going to have so many loves ahead of you. don't give up! one day you'll back and wonder why you wasted one minute of your life thinking about someone who didn't think you were amazing!

asmiths 10/08/2017

You are so young, and have so much to look forward to. The old him may have been incredible and sweet and what not, but the fact that you recognize the new him is not as fairytale as you once thought, means you're taking a huge step in the right direction. In a break up, or loss of any kind, even a shitty job, it is easy to reminisce and want to remember only the good stuff. But if he says he isn't sorry, and is treating you badly, you have to love yourself, and remind yourself you are worthy of someone who will treat you differently. For now, take time to focus on yourself. Get back into the things you used to love, or find something new. It seems difficult, and nearly impossible, but time does heal all. Talking to people you don't know is sometimes the easiest, because they can't treat you differently the next day. Feel free to shoot me a message any time. Stay strong, chin up, you will be okay.

hygeia4life 10/08/2017

Maybe this wish to be dead isn't as morse as it sounds. Maybe you need to experience a kind of death, a death of who you were in that relationship and give birth to a reaffirmed you.

Also, this might be helpful in helping dissolve some of those yucky feelings.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=G5_sbzSXs0E

11Christmases 10/08/2017

Hi Summer, I remember your last post and I responded to it. If you have taken every bit of advice - which you received a lot of on here, and nothing is working, perhaps a couple of sessions with a therapist would help? Can you ask your mom and tell her you're still sad about your break-up and ask about talking to a professional? Sometimes it helps just to have someone listen and not judge. I remember you were having some difficulty with your friends.

Another thing I need to ask, since you only post once in a while, are you feeling worse during certain times of the month? This is normal too, to feel those feelings of attachment more strongly when your hormones are at a certain level. Just remember we all go through this at some point. There is nothing wrong with talking to a professional if it helps you move forward.

I hope you are also eating healthy, getting plenty of Vitamin D and sunshine, and getting some outdoor exercise. I really do hope you feel better, and I think 14 is a very tender age for you to be going through this. Count your blessings and be glad you are not pregnant with his child. You have your whole life ahead of you, and the best is yet to come. Big hugs.

Gutted 10/12/2017

Alright, let me throw the voice of reason into your situation. You are 14. Your frontal lobe isn't even fully developed until you are in your early 20's. That's the part of your brain responsible for helping you control your emotions and impulses. Therefore, I'm not surprised that you are really strung out over this breakup. Ask yourself this: Do you really want give all your personal power to someone who doesn't even love you?

Right now you can't see the forest for the trees. Let me tell you a little something, behind every single one of those trees is guy. One who's cuter, sexier, nicer and smarter than the fool who dumped you. As long as you stay focused on this thing you think you lost, all those nice guys are invisible to you.

Let me ask you something. What are people supposed to be doing with their lives at 14? You're all supposed to be working hard at making yourself into the grown up you want to be. Your little boyfriend is hard at work becoming a total ass hat. You seem to be hard at work nursing a victim complex of some sort. Life's to short to waste like that.

Seriously, snap the heck out of it. Compartmentalize you 'love' for this person and lock it away in the far reaches of your mind until you are old enough to deal with the complexities of relationships. Meanwhile, go out, learn about the world, meet new and interesting people, get yourself a online friend from Japan, make youtube videos about cool makeup techniques or whatever floats your boat. You've wasted 8 months mourning. Now it's time to move on. It's a big bad world out there and it's your's for the taking. Don't miss out on the important things in life twisting yourself up over an idiot.

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