My sympathy goes out to you. I lived with a man whom was horrible, beat on me. But, he started on the children, I left him. There is no easy way. I feared getting out in the world without financial support. I did though. I stayed single for 10 years, dated very little. I feared having a step father for my children, they'd been through enough. I concentrated on education. I made it through. There was nights that I cried my self to sleep. Which ever road you chose be it staying or leaving it will be hard. My sister chose to stay in her mentally abusive marriage. She tells me often that she wishes that she had gotten out years ago. She is financial secure. I still struggle with finances and sometimes loneliness. I guess what I'm saying is, we have to be content with our choices. Life is hard, but we can make it. I leaned on my faith in God and still do. God bless you.. Be happy is you can, turn lemons into lemonade. Each day is a gift. Some are given much and don't realize it until it I'd too late. Be greatful. Go to counseling on your own. Learn to laugh at the setbacks. The sun rises every day, your children have a warm bed to sleep. God bless you sweety.

Do you have a lawyer, because honey he's going to have to give you half of those assets and support you and your child.

Yes this is no walk in the park but do not despair.

Do not negotiate or talk to him about your plans. He is not your friend. You'll be making a huge mistake if you listen to ANYTHING he has to say from this point on.

If you don't have an attorney get one ASAP.

You CAN have a new, better life.

One more time -

DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM OR DISCUSS YOUR PLANS WITH HIM.

HE WILL LIE TO YOU, DECEIVE YOU AND MESS WITH YOUR HEAD.

Thank you for listening and the advice believe me he already lies I don't tell him any of my plans bc he is so sneaky I don't have a lawyer yet but I am looking I just can't believe I wasted 17 years of my life thanks again for the support it is so appreciated hope you are doing ok

tolonely I wish I had your courage and left when my kids were little, I stuck it out 8 years with a plan to do it for 4 more, then I too became depressed (my diagnosis). The passive aggressive emotional bullsh*t abuse was just too much, I was dying inside. And it was situational, the moment I filed for divorce I felt a million times better, and still do, 12 months later. Still married, but the divorce should be final in a week. I too am married to Mr. Nice Guy. Not. Hang in there, you'll find a job soon enough if you work at it.

Passive aggressive is right I can't believe I got myself in this situation looking back he was a charmer and then when he got me he did a total turn around I feel stupid for falling for it I've always felt I was a strong person but now not so much it is stressful around here the dogs can even tell a lot of the times before he comes home from work I take the kids and leave bc I don't want them to see the dysfunctional marriage I am in my 14 year old daughter said she's never getting married and I asked why she told me bc you and dad I almost cried right in front of her I don't care what anyone says it does the kids no good to stay married for the kids the worse part of all of this the only reason he won't leave is bc he doesn't want to have to pay child support and alimony which says a lot about him it's like he doesn't even care about his own children's mental health thanks for listen everyone on this site is a blessing to me

I am sorry about your situation. That must be hard. I would suggest finding a support group in your community that you can talk about these issues with. They often have local resources and advice to give. Best of luck to you. Praying for you!

Thank you lauradlou I am seeing a counselor I should ask about it I have a job interview tomorrow so I'm hoping that will go well thanks again