Don't apologize, sandy. Those are normal feelings and you needed to get them out.
I am so happy the first of your tests came back clean. Worrying about the tests could have been the final straw, why you wrote that post.
You will be angry for a time. Then as Joy said after a while you will start to heal and move on.
Focus on yourself and plan some fun things that you like to do for just you.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))

Stress does crazy things to a person.
I'm crossing my fingers for you that all of your tests come back clean.
((((((((((((((((((((((((sandy)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

No apologies needed here. I don't deny feeling the same way sometimes. What I really wanted to do was find a family of skunks and relocate them either to his garage or under his house. BUT!When he did this to me before (we were dating) I put a curse on him. It didnt work, instead it backfired. This time, I am not giving in to my passive aggressive tendencies. I am taking the high road. There are a couple things I could do that would cause him some headaches, but I'm not doing them. I've found that, just like his other ex wives, I am flourishing now that he is gone. Eventually, it will be ok.

Sandy, as the others say above, no need to apologize! We all experience intense feelings/thoughts at vulnerable times, that don't seem to fit with our typical temperament. It was clear from your post that it was just a passing feeling you were experiencing, not something literal or permanent. I just think it's great that you feel safe enough to be so open here, and that we have this as a safe place to express ourselves and realize we are not alone!


I'm really glad to hear the first tests were clean!

Hugs to you, and take care.

No apology needed. I think sometimes we just get to a point where we have to vent it out and it's better out than in. You got it out and I think it was therapeutic.

I remember it being Christmas and we were in the middle of the divorce and I was very mad at what he did; actually what he didn't do--he hadn't sent our young son a Christmas present or even a Christmas card and it was hurtful and that's hard to explain to a child that asks.

I took a piece of paper and in stick figures drew the courthouse and ropes to each of his hands stretching him between columns at the courthouse, then a figure of me with a whip behind him. I put "Seasons Beatings" at the top. I laughed and laughed and then ripped up the paper and it just felt so good. My feelings went down on that paper.

By the way, I have heard of other women who draw that or similar or think of that--it's not new, but it's a release.

apology accepted

ha !!

(punchin you in the shoulder)

just kiddin :)
you have a brighter week ahead, here's to waking up to sunshine and birds singing as the new week begins

((hugs))

I actually loved reading the title over and over and feeling the same way. I hope for a shark attack on my soon to be ex husband.

I've felt that way myself. Of course I don't mean it, but sometimes ...

(((HUGS))) all forgotten. Hope you are feeling somewhat better now

I've felt (and said it) before also.