My STBX finally answered my petition to our divorce and he lied so much through it. He said he was broke and that he spends more money on our son when he has him for a few hours during the weekend than he does on himself. To prove to the judge that he was lying, I went to the bank and got copies of his bank statements for the last 3 months. I felt so horrible after looking at them. He is spending almost every dime he gets on taking his new interest out. They are at the movies almost every weekend. He takes her out to eat at the restaurants that were our favorites and the staff knew us personally. He is spending very large amounts of money on alcohol and traveling to areas 30-40 minutes outside of our city for gas.
I found myself questioning what could I have done to make him want me more? What does she have that I do not? In addition, why am I still wondering what is he doing and who is he doing it with when it is blatant he does not give a &%$# about me?
This ordeal has been so tiring. I hardly eat and all I want to think about is where did I go wrong. I know it is not my fault, but I can't help it. I am trying to take this day by day, but I find myself scared about what the next day will hold. I am tired of finding out about his new "happy life". I am tired of thinking on him. I am tired of having to work so hard to prove to the judge that he is lying about everything. I am just so tired. But what is even more tiring is, I have to hide this from my sons. They only see a strong mother. I cannot let them see that I am broken. I am so tired.