It's been about a week now I haven't shed a tear, we did get together over the weekend and I had a blast, no arguing, just fun and laughter. It feels kind of odd that I am not feeling weepy, but I guess I should just enjoy the fact that I am not all puffy eyed and snot nosed all the time now.
I still yet miss him and still yet love him. But I have to accept the fact that he is moving on with out me, and I should do the same, If he is in fact sleeping with one of my friends as I suspect he is, than I will definately be over him, it's happened before this "friend" has tooken my sloppy seconds, and I usually find out she has, and I get over my heartbreak real fast. She has no guilt about it just says "what is, is and it ain't no big thing" but she just doesn't realize that it hurts all the same, I don't know why I call her a friend when she isn't one, just my loyal side I guess. Lately I haven't really been putting up with any ones bs like I usually do. Only my stbx. I will always have feeling for him. We have been through so much. I woke up this morning thinking about him so I gave his vm a call and left a message. I know that it seems desparate, but I asked him for permission to do that on one of our calls, and he said that it was ok. But my calls to him are dwindling to once a day.
he is like an addiction I can't quit. I know he treated me like s__. Still I can't seem to let go like I want to.
I have been keeping busy with my children, and with my community, I am a traditional food gatherer for my tribe, and also I started a direct selling business, so I am on a roll to a brighter future. I need to start looking forward to my future, and see what is up ahead, and stop looking at my past, because it is keeping me from seeing my blessings in the future.
Prayers are requested for every part of my life, I get so overwhelmed sometimes.