Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Today is my soon to be ex husband's birthday. It's the first special occasion I am spending away from him. I want to reach out to him, I want to wish him happy birthday, but I know I shouldn't. I will only get upset, and after all it is his day. I want him to have a good day I really do. I just can't think about what he is doing to have a great day, who he is having it with. I have been trying really hard to go no contact unless it's about the divorce. He's moved out, sold our apartment, pretty sure is with someone else. Moved on so quickly it was mind blowing. He's told mutual friends how "great" he's doing. I typically work saturdays and made sure I was off months ago so I could make sure we did something nice. Now I'm sitting here just thinking about him and how different my life is today than 6 weeks ago. How I would have been planning a nice dinner in Boston, trying to think of ways to surprise him with his gifts. I always loved trying to surprise him. He loved his birthday, and I would always try and make it extra special. Now that's someone else's job. I know everyone has told me to turn within cherish this time and focus on myself. Don't focus on him. I am trying so hard. I don't want to love, care, miss or even think about him, but I do. I just want to move on. I don't know how or why I do after all the hurt, the financial aggravation, the lack of respect I have endured from him I am just so sad today. It's the realization that not only is my marriage over, our friendship and all the good times we would have are over. The realization of the last time we went out together to celebrate a special occasion was the last time. Our last everything together has happened. There is no more us. The is me and then there is him, and I need to try and not focus on him. I'm just finding it's much harder to do than I thought.
Just yesterday, my stbx and I met to divide our debts and I was really worried about that. It went better than I expected but it didn't make it any easier. Like you, I feel like he has moved on and like you, I would like to move on but I know I need to take it day to day and grieve my relationship. I miss his friendship as well but in order for me to move, I have to let him go because in the long run, it is not going to be good for me. This week has been one of those weeks that I have been in a funk and it seems like I have been in it for a while. I hope in time and participating in counseling, I will be able to move on and out of the funk I am in. I just have to be patient :) Please know I am here if you want to talk. Sending lots of hugs your way during this time.
Lucky stars you no longer live with them while
They are Acting like this. They are long gone
Emotionally.
Its all about you now and you getting better.
Keep the focus on you and your healing and
Growing in spite of them. Its still going to take
Time, grieving, processing and moving thru the
muck and eventually to letting them Go.
There is no easy way thru this, grief is grief and
Needs to be honored and processed. HUGS