Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
It's no contact- none whatsoever.
It says very clearly he is not to contact me or the children directly or indirectly.
Yet, he's emailed me continuously ever since. He writes "For kids only", then says how much he loves and misses them, and tells them to "tell mommy" how much he loves me. (They're 5 years old and can barely read 'Cat in the Hat', so he knows very well these messages are to me.)
I'm so torn- my heart breaks for him. But I got this order for very serious reasons.
I'm so sick, and I know he's keeping me sick. I know he's still manipulating me.
I read online that no matter how small, these instances should be reported to the police.
I hate everything about this situation.
It says very clearly he is not to contact me or the children directly or indirectly.
Yet, he's emailed me continuously ever since. He writes "For kids only", then says how much he loves and misses them, and tells them to "tell mommy" how much he loves me. (They're 5 years old and can barely read 'Cat in the Hat', so he knows very well these messages are to me.)
I'm so torn- my heart breaks for him. But I got this order for very serious reasons.
I'm so sick, and I know he's keeping me sick. I know he's still manipulating me.
I read online that no matter how small, these instances should be reported to the police.
I hate everything about this situation.
This isn't about you any longer, it's about your kids. You need to protect them!
Please, please, please call the cops! The hospital should have gotten CPS involved when your son ate your hub's narcotics...I swear, if you don't do something to intervene, you are doing your children a huge disservice!
Does anybody care about kids any longer?
This will not end well. You are enabling his behavior by not reporting him to the police.
In addition to reporting him you need to contact your local shelter and ask them to help you make a SAFE plan to leave. Go someplace where he cannot find you. He sounds very dangerous and he is escalating.
If you don't do it for yourself, do it for your kids.
The kids and I moved out of the area weeks ago. We're four hours away.
Is it not extreme to contact police over emails saying he loves us?
It's not about what he says. It's about him ignoring the legal order and contacting you.
Please change your email address and phone number ASAP.
Contacting your attorney isn't enough. You need to contact the police.
One more thing....addicts ONLY LOVE THEIR DRUG OF CHOICE. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but if he REALLY loved you and the kids, he would respect the RO and he would go get help.
Love isn't a feeling, it's an ACTION VERB. And his actions belie his words.
knarfia, I don't know what to make of you. On the one hand, you reveal how your hubs left narcotic meds out for your toddler to eat- and he ended up in ICU! You have further stated that your hubs is careless with his guns...can you imagine how badly that could end with your kids? He's put you into debt and refused financial counseling, hence your divorce.
Suddenly, you wish you'd never pressed charges or gotten a restraining order against him, and you're considering letting him off the hook for breaking the restraining order! You would willingly subject your kids to a potentially dangerous situation!
I swear...if I knew where you were, I'd contact CPS right now.
Can anybody on this site determine her location? Something needs to be done, here.
This is the last time I seek help here.
Since you are unable to protect your own children, I sincerely hope that the powers that be (however inept ) on this forum will intervene on behalf of your kids. You honestly do not understand how serious the situation is any longer.
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Physical-Emotional-Abuse/forum
Many of us in that group have been where you are.
When we live in toxic abuse, it can actually affect our decision making abilities. Because of the abuse and toxic dysfunction, it's hard to know what the right decision because abuse actually affects our ability to see all of the options available to us. It also causes us to not be able see the situation with any real clarity.
Please, at least check out the group for you and your children.
Of course he is trying to manipulate you. People often use kind, caring words to manipulate. Ever heard "you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar?" My ex ran the gambit between buttering me up, and then when that didn't work, it made him angry and he'd lash out instead. It is all to get a reaction from you, no matter what kind.
The restraining order says "NO contact, none" as you said, so that is what it needs to be. I say this out of care and concern, but there should not be any outlet in which he can reach out to you, since the order is quite clear. Meaning, either change your email address, or block his incoming messages. It is hard even in the best of circumstances, but it is necessary. It is even more necessary due to the complications involved in your situation.
You have already taken steps to be strong. You are stronger than you know. You CAN do this for yourself and for your kids. It's not easy, but it is worth it. One step at a time.