I am 60 after a 30 year marriage, he had
A GF all lined up ready to go. No down time
For a checked out and disconnected spouse.

They generally dont leave until they find a
replacement for you. They are not going it
alone.

I go to therapy, divorce care and i also attend
Alanon. Do whatever you got to do to help
Yourself thru the grief. Its pretty rough at the
Beginning stages. HUGS

You are not alone. I am also where you are. Know that when you cry, there are others probably crying too. I am fresh into this myself. completely broken. I know how badly you are hurting. You are not alone.

for me it was all of a sudden after 25 years. I'm here if ever you wish to talk

I'm so sorry. I hope that after he bails out, he realizes its not what he wanted and that he's messing up his life and comes back home,--- I just turned 60 last .month and I am 3 years into divorce. It rough.

Thanks for the replies. I would love to keep talking with you all

Wow that's pretty painful, I'm really sorry to hear that.
Question, is there a part of you - even the smallest fraction of a part that feels relief?

you absolutely should keep talking with your friends here dmf

Yes Ginger. There has been some very rough things happen in these 25 years. Infidelity, voyeuristic behavior and exhibitionism on his part. Some very hurt things have been said but I have always forgiven him and loved and supported him. We've done counseling for his addictions several times but I guess now I see it didn't work.

I know this sounds crazy but after all the hurtful things he has put me thru I still love him and want to spend the rest of my days with him. This is so painful.

Well, you can't make someone stay and love you when their mind is made up. I suggest you get individual counseling to help you. I would also put on the front of being happy so much that it makes him rethink his incredibly stupid idea. I was married to my first husband 22 years and he was 28 when we married. At the end he said, "maybe I was single too long." My point is, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence for some people. As far as your age, heck you still have a lot of years left to live. Use it wisely. When I divorced I used my time to accomplish some goals I was not able to achieve while married. I also took up fun hobbies that were healthy and made my life interesting. I also sought out God and that gave me peace I needed. I'm telling you.....should it come to divorce...it's not a death sentence. (((HUGS)))

Thanks to everyone for the replies. I've made one step by looking forward to having the closet to myself. I'm temped to pack his stuff for him and redo it so it works for me.

Moving forward cautiously and with direction is usually a good option. What else would moving forward look like for you?

Your initial message indicated that your husband is ten years younger than you. Is that accurate?

Yes he is younger. What an eye for detail u have to notice the age difference Some ideas I've had are rearranging the house after his things r gone and getting another college degree. Things to keep me busy

DMF you are going to be fine, chin up and move forward. The young ones chase us then when they gotten everything they could they move onto the next. My x is 11 years younger than I am, now his new gf is 8 years younger than him...a child. lol i can laugh about that fact thru the hurt bc he has no clue how to do anything, and she is a child herself, still worried about turning 21 for the first time and partying.
Keep hope and faith, you will come out ahead it he end! :)

Thanks kayaks. Why do they think the grass is greener somewhere else. Younger is not always better. Mine will never have it as good as he does now. I've supported him thru good and bad choices, been there during the aches and pains. I've been a faithful wife for 25 yrs, even while in the military and deployments. Why are some men so blind not to see a good thing when they have it?