It does hurt. Consider that you've done your best and you are only human. It's best not to get affirmation from him anymore -- whether he's fond of you or not. Sometimes, it is what it is. In the end, things happen for a reason. You'll be alright and all the pains and uncomfortable feeling you have right now will make you stronger. It's time to focus on you.

It's really a roller coaster of emotions -- staying away, learning to detach -- in the process, there's little possibility to really have a clean breakup. There will always be an ugly end in break ups, regardless of how amiable we all want it to, there will be pain, bitterness, anger, etc. Roll with the punches -- sometimes, it's really for the best.

So you've acted in a way that you feel has contributed to a bad parting. It probably would also have been easier to end amiably if he wasn't emotionally withdrawn and mean. It takes two, so don't shoulder all of the burden for this. But just remember that nothing is permanent. Right now you're hurting a lot, and he's having his own issues dealing with this breakup, but this won't last forever. You have to do what is best for you, and you have to try to stop focusing on him and how he's feeling. It can actually be strangely liberating... when I unfriended my ex on Facebook, I immediately worried that he'd think I was angry or be hurt that I'm cutting him out (we'd specifically talked about my trying to keep that channel of communication open), and I even thought about texting him to explain... but then I realized that I'm no longer responsible for his feelings, and it took a lot of pressure off of me and how I choose to deal with this.

This might be a set back, but it's one that you can take something away from to make the rest of your process more successful. One of the toughest parts of this for me has been all of the 'What if's... what if we tried to be friends and just talked about neutral things? What if I reached out just this once? What if we talk on Christmas like we'd originally planned? You've answered one of your 'what ifs,' so you can take that assurance with you while you try and navigate your path to wholeness.

You've got this! He's going to do what he wants and feel how he feels, and so are you. All you can control is how you move forward for yourself. And we've got a new year coming up, which I'm going to use to try and reset my thinking to move into a new life. We're here for you!

You acted like a human being with a setback. Breakups set you in a roller coaster. I experienced a breakup on December 7, 2014 after a two year courtship. I called him Monday, Tuesday, Thursday of that week when I realized that instead of feeling good, I felt like shit because he was very mean. Looking back, I felt terrible because I lost my sense of self by reaching out to him. Be patient and kind to yourself.

You have not lost your dignity. You did what anyone would do when presented with something they can't resist...ie (insert here). The thing about giving in during these weak moments is to know your own limitations and what it will do to you afterwards and this is what you are figuring out for yourself. So be gentle with yourself and your dignity :-)

Please do not feel like a fool---total waste of time. Does no one any good it is over and done with. Just go from here and do the best you can from here forward. We all learn from our mistakes. No use beating yourself over it, just learn from it and do better next time.
Good luck.

I did the exact same thing few days ago lol. Convo started out fine then my emotions got the best of me and texted some pretty horrible things. After cooling off a couple days I texted an apology and got no response. But the reality is she dumped me, she left our daughter and I and went to live her fabulous new life. While I did fly off the handle, it doesn't do me any good as far as my own healing. I'm gonna learn from that mistake and just accept it's better not to talk to her anymore. And if she blocked me or ignores me well that's actually better for me. Take care we will get through this!

I have had so many instances where I did what I knew I wasn't supposed to ...only to have the same results happen over and over. You "get" it when you "get" it ..and not a moment before. Unfortunately, usually we get a slap in the face when we break no contact but it's often what we need to move on. You are only human, and the end of a relationship is such a difficult thing to recover from. I think most times, like Soulmistress said..it's more often than not.. for the best.

Panther said-"Unfortunately, usually we get a slap in the face when we break no contact but it's often what we need to move on."
THIS!!!! Learn from it, don't dwell on breaking NC, learn how it made you feel. It's totally normal to break it, it's how you learn from breaking it that's so valuable. You can do this :)

Thanks everyone, I didn't expect such kind responses! I'm still upset with myself for letting it go this far but he didn't try to make it better when I was asking what I could do to fix the situation. Even if he's over me there's no reason to be as cold as he's been, especially after asking me to be friends. I didn't do anything horrible to him, I was just a little obsessive and annoying. Again, it was in response to his pulling away. I'm so hurt.

Do you all think the bad stuff will pass or will he continue to hate me forever, just because of how I handled the breakup?

I dont think he hates you. I think he just detached himself :-) it can feel cold and extremely hurtful because you are still attached. Warm wishes and take care.

Yeah he's detached and moved on. The key is don't dwell on how he is feeling. That's unimportant and out of your control. Just work on you. It was a slip, not a monumental failure. Just learn from it and remember how breaking NC made u feel. That's the lesson :)

You were right...he detached. He wasn't responding to me, then just texted me that he's dealing with an issue with his brother. I felt horrible and said sorry for lashing out, I know he's detached and I need to move on but I'd like to be friendly. He said he'd like to be friendly too. If that's all I can get, that's fine. Still hurts like hell. I always meant so much to him so I thought it would take him a lot longer than 2 months to get over me.

I know how that stings, God do I know. I recently texted my ex about my pending graduation and he replied how proud of me he was then I asked him something else and he never replied..never replied to anything after that ...or really anything for several months prior. So he had gotten over me so well, that he was able to pick and choose what he would respond to, but I had never been able to do that. I couldn't ever ignore him. It showed me how much more I felt for him than he did for me. It hurt like hell and boy did I feel like crap for a few days after but it freed me from being able to carry on the romance in my mind.
It seemed that our whole relationship, I meant everything to him...and I think I did in a way. I really thought that it would take longer than it did for him to get over me, just like you. I'm not sure, but I think he found someone else..men don't usually, not always, but usually, do the soul searching alone thing.

Hold your head up. The biggest crime you committed is having a heart and not being able to let go quickly. This is why song after song has been written about heartache..it's no joke.

panther - It means a lot to hear that someone else is going through the same thing. Sorry for your pain as well. I relate to that 100%. I'd feel so stupid when he wouldn't respond. When I met him, we were friends for 8 months, all the while he was depressed about his cheating ex. He hated her but he couldn't eat. I was his best friend and then lover so to be dumped like this has been extremely hard. I like how you said it freed you from the romance in your mind. It kind of does because they're not the same person and the one you're mourning is a distant version of them.

Songwriting is my hobby, actually but for some reason I'm not able to write about this one. It hurts too much because I never thought I would have to.

Panther, a few of us men soul search. But it sure seems rare. This could be a liberation event for you. There are some people that you just can't get through to. I just broke up from a 9 month relationship and she broke us up 4 times in that period. You need to take solace in your own self worth.