Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My ex and I have agreed to sit down and have a discussion. This is at her request ... and she asked me if I wanted my therapist to be there. I have scheduled an appointment and set aside time to have this discussion. When we agreed to this sit-down discussion, it sounded like she had some things she wanted to say. When I talked to her the other day to give her the time of the meeting, she asked if there was anything she should be prepared for. I told her to just come and be ready to talk about whatever she wanted to say. She told me that she has already said everything she wanted to say during a recent phone conversation. This has me confused because it was her that asked for this conversation. She has been giving me confusing signals lately. It is frustrating. I know the things that I want to say to her ... but I don't just want her to be reacting to things I say. My feelings are conflicted over this. In truth, I still have feelings for her. It was not my decision to divorce. I have been working hard to get over the pain I have been experiencing due to this loss. I feel this conversation could provide some healing ... but it could also re-open newly healed wounds. Any suggestions or advice?
Not knowing your history & guessing that the NPD you mentioned is narcissistic personality disorder, my best guess (based on personal experience) is that she's playing some sort of mind/ power/ control games w/you.
I'd say follow your gut, not your head.
IF you decide to meet, at least you will have your therapist there & that may even give him/her more insight to your situation.
Intuition/gut instinct is never wrong. We mess it up by putting words to it. If there's a red flag, pay attention. Do what you need to to take care of yourself!
I have managed to get much better perspective on our relationship. Unlike her, I KNOW what I want in a partner and I am no longer willing to live without my needs being met. I know that I have the strength to say what I need to say and let her know exactly where I stand. I have seen that she has made a lot of progress in the past few months but she still doesn't know what she wants. We'll see what happens.