I am going through a divorce and it has not been a easy past few months even a past 24 years with my stbx . Since I have found this site I have found comfort with some of my thoughts at ease, I know there will be times that I will feel betrayed , broken or another dose of reality but for the most part being a part of this group has given me hope and to find that with strangers that I have never met and only know through shared situations is amazing so Thank you for dealing with my post , questions and my vents. 

Since stbx left the house and it has been a few months but he has gone back and forth to hotel and his mothers house and his fathers house and back to hotels that his father paid for .. stbx has done this for years and everytime I took him back.  Well the past few months have been interesting to say the least because I set new routines for our 16 year old and our 20 year old that still lives at home so he can focus on his college education.  I have done everything by myself even when stbx was living at home so it is not a big deal to keep doing it. The past few months I have noticed with my sons that they come out of their rooms more often and we talk we re group we laugh which is something we did not do when stbx was there because he just made everyone uncomfortable , I guess you could say the kids did not want to be arond him as he broke many of promises to them and set bad examples. 

Well today I started my day as I always do ( with coffee) throughout the day my sons would come down stairs and we would talk and laugh and just hang out and we started to talk about my younger sons birthday he will be 17 years old on Valentines day. It was just great to not feel like we are walking on egg shells and we are comfortable and work as a team again. My sons help each other out while I am working and they help me out with chores and computer stuff that I have no clue about. It was just nice a blessing that I am thankful for .

Now I kinda expect a storm, have you ever felt afraid to feel better or good because the fear of it wont last or the calm before the storm ?  I am learning I deserve this feeling and I earned it yet I pray that nothing bad comes my way for awhile but I know if something does come my way my first stop is here and prayer. It is kinda sad that I feel happy yet worried that I am happy if that makes any sense. So as we all are dealing with a break up / divorce and hurt and our unknown future I hope that others had a good day or will read this and think of a good day that he or she had and hold on to it . We are here for ourself's but also for each other so I am thankful for this group and glad that I found it. I think god has shown me the affairs my stbx had and shown me the wrong that he has done to bring me to this point , kind of telling me I tried to warn you but see he is not going to get better . I have my faith that keeps me going as well. So I hope you had a good day today and if not a memory of a good day to get you through today. It would be easy if we could fast foward through our paid but we have to work through it so we remember the hard work we have done so we do not return to the past. Best wishes to all.