If routine was bothering him he should have made an effort to "spice things up" as you say as a team, not look elsewhere. You are not responsible to entertain him any more that he is you. His insecurities and immaturity are NOT a reflection of you or anything you have done wrong. It is so frustrating to me that any man discard a loving woman who is committed to him. I only wish my wife felt as you. Stay strong.

I don't like that he didn't answer your call or call you back.

I'm no expert, and I cannot stand the whole no-contact thing. However,
I feel that space is at times necessary. I was once told that if you chase someone, they will run away and to not pursue them. This can be challenging, and does not always work, but is worth the try.

It is my feeling that if he says he needs some time to breathe, give it to him. I don't agree with his actions, but who knows.

Just give him the time he needs and wait and see what happens. It is better that this is happening now, instead of later when you are married. If he is having second thoughts, let him get them out now.

Hey honey, the first few weeks are unbearable. You are physically withdrawing from having that person in your life. I remember lying in bed shaking, feeling sick, crying, and just being physically incapable for days. It does get easier as time goes on but I know that's no comfort now.

If it helps, something similar happened to me but we weren't engaged - I'm sure that makes it even harder. He said he needed time away because he couldn't be the man I needed him to be. We have spoken on and off and even met up twice. I managed to not contact him but he would contact me periodically and this last time I confronted him with my needs and wants for the future and asked could he meet them? His answer - no he's not ready. He's sorry but he's just not able to promise me the things I want. And that's ok. Doesn't make him a bad person but my point is after three months of anxiety and worry this person has not changed his mind.

Your partner may feel he just needs a time out but that's not fair to ask off you. You're going to feel like you're left hanging. My only suggestion would be to get in touch with a therapist, and try to keep busy. Do your best not to contact him give him some space but don't let it go on too long. I'm so sorry you're suffering honestly, i know how you feel and you're not alone x

Put an elastic band on your wrist when u feel the urge to "make contact" flick the elastic band and remind yourself "no"

People are so right< if he isn't ready to commit to you it is better he leave now then perhaps later when u have a few kids and then u will be stuck its co parenting him for life> as painful as it is, don't contact him> clean a closet exercise, bake, see friends, try a new hobby> do not go out to bars or sign up on a dating site. Treat yourself like this was happening to your very best friend, how would you help her?

So sorry for your pain

It's brutal, no pain like it. Here are a few things that I did in the early stages. When he popped into my mind, I would immediately look around and name off the colors I saw (I see blue, red, yellow, etc) and that helped take my mind off of him. Another thing I did was close my eyes and name three things I could hear (I hear music, the fan, birds) I also did the rubber band around the wrist thing too. It also helped to follow through with the thought; we had so much fun on trips BUT then I would remember the time he tried to leave me in Vegas and remembering the bad times help take the sting off of the good memories. My counselor also had me set mini goals of when I could contact him if I really needed to, I usually did 30 days at a time. By then I was really missing him and more times than not, I would break contact. But I still ended up in the same place as before, ME doing all of the work. That gets tiring and depressing. I get that you want closure either way and in reality he should give that to you but it doesn't always happen.

Going NC is hard but if your relationship may be over, nothing you can say or do will change the outcome. We were married for 7 years when he up and left. It definitely takes two and you shouldn't have to fight for his time or attention, we should be their priority as they are ours. By going NC you will be able to heal faster than holding on to the what if's or hoping they will change their minds and come back. He may have cold feet, he may be done, or maybe he really does need his space. He does owe you an explanation but just know you may not get one, that is why most of us are here.
I have broken NC so many times and all it really did was just prolong my healing. I am NC again and it's been 42 days. Not a lot but this time I'm going to stick to it. I have no choice, he's done, he's divorced me and I am finally letting go.

Good luck, keep us posted, I hope for your sake, for the sake of love, he comes back and fights for you and your relationship!!! Hugs.

I wasted 18years on one guy who I thought was the love of my life.
If he does not want to commit after 7years he never will.
You will feel dreadfull right now but he is out there looking for something else that you can't give him, and that is not your fault.
My ex strung me along and wasted 18years I will never get back.
My self esteem was at rock bottom. Within 7months of leaving he had married someone else!
In a way I was relieved because I knew he would not be coming back again, he left me many times, and there was always someone else involved, i was too niaive to see through him.
Some people think that you are there to entertain them and make their life happy.
It took me a long long time to hear it from him that he never loved me enough to want to be with me.
He also said he found it very easy to hurt me!!...the truth came too late!