you have really been taken for a ride. i'm sorry. have you seen a counselor? do you discuss this with family and friends? don't be an island at a time like this. it is no time to spend alone too much.

personally, playing my guitar helps me most to vent my emotions to keep them from being bottled up inside too much.

hang in there. take it one day at a time. it gets easier eventually.

Hi PeterMag, I'm sorry you're going through this. Hang in there, I promise you it does get better. What helped me is being in counseling especially counseling groups. I also found journal writing really helpful. Fortunately for me I have my son and I concentrated all of my energy on him. Keeping busy helps out a lot. Now is the time to do things for you and get to know yourself. It's been 1 year since my ex left and I still miss my past life but I have slowly accepted that, that life was the past and I need to move forward with my own life. (((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

I have been divorced for 4 months and I understand the pain. My husband had an affair in January of this year. We were separated for a few months before I decided to get divorced. Though I am so sure I made ethe right decision, I miss certian things such as my house, and family we had, lifestyle and even things about him. I can't watch certian shows, movies, or listen to certain songs. For the most part I have moved on with my life, but moments I just cry my eyes out! I am in counseling and this has helped a great deal, and looking back to three months ago I can see I am stronger, so this gives me hope it can and will get better. I am so much stronger that even with my ex wanting me back, I am strong enough to resist and make the decision best for ME and not be tempted to go back to a cheater (who also was emotionally abusive and an alcoholic! It is like a death, you grieve like a death. The first of everthing is the hardest. First Christmas, first Easter, New Year's eve, kids birthday. So the first year will be the worst. Treat it like a death, greive. The unfortunate aspect is that others don't treat you as if you suffered such a substantial loss, like a death. But I assure you, I understand. I stll question WHY??? Why is this happening to me? To know other out there feel the same pain helps! I DO UNDERSTAND and feel the same pain. I started to see someone else (even if this is not the best choice), I bought a condo, got a parttime job, and many other major life changes. It helps to know I can build a new life, even if I am super poor now. LOL
And depending on how you may feel about this, God has helped me get through all of this and other trials in life!!!! Will pray for you. You are NOT alone. I hope knowing this will help ease your pain.

I am trying to see a counselor but right now money is very tight. I really want to be happy again, and I honestly try everyday to see things in a good way, but there are moments like right now that I just want to quit and throw everything, but I can't do that.

I still feel like sometimes I am been punished by life or God, even though I know that's not the case. It is very hard to accept this, more when you never wanted this, and tried to do everything to maintain a happy home, I only hope one day I will find someone that believes that been honest, faithfull, loving and most of all comitted with someone is a good emotional investment , oh God I miss my family, but muts look forward.

Thanks everyone, I truly value your support

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I understand about money being tight too. I go to a low income clinic that has a psychologist. I pay based on a sliding fee scale. I don't know if you have access to something like that but you should definitely check it out because it does help.

what our spouses do is a reflection on their character, not ours. it is a shame that people can do terrible things in marriages and not have to face any penalty. often, they wind having better lives than their spouses.

the important thing is to live right and hold your head high. you did the best that you could. life goes on and your next chapter will be a good one.

Hi there peter,just like the majority of people here say,it does get better,and it will.Just take 1 step at a time.:)

Try this link,maybe this can help you...:)

http://www.simpledivorceadvice.com/emotional-management-in-divorce/making-it-on-your-own-after-divorce

Peter, like you it has been 5 months since I found out my wife cheated on me after 17 years of marriage. Admittedly, the last couple years were not the greatest, but never in my life could I imagine she would have done this. Take it from experience. It will drive you crazy wondering why she did it. You say you miss having a family. You still have a family (you say you still see your kids). Use this time to get closer to your kids. Believe it or not, I have found my relationship with my kids has gotten stronger. Look forward, not back. Best of luck.

Hello PeterMag. I know how it feels when your marriage is ended. Its is like a death like 1 person mentioned. Feel the feelings & dont try to stuff them. If you need to cry..cry! If you need to scream at the top of your lungs..then do it! The more you stuff your feelings, they bottle up & make you sick. You have kids..concentrate on being the best parent you can! Keep yourself busy helps too. I hope you find some comfort you are NOT alone!