Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi everyone,
I am recently legally separated and it happened very quickly in the end after dragging out over the last almost 7 years. The first separation was brutal my ex was having an online affair with another woman. I fought beeged and pleaded and he came back. The second separation was because he told me he wasn't sure he wanted to be married to me anymore and that he loved me but wasn't in love with me. He said he didn't find me attractive anymore and that I needed to lose weight to save our marriage. I told him to go F@#k himself. I was 12 months from finishing up my university degree at the time and didn't need this stuff, I was crushed but started to move on. He wouldn't leave my house and because of school/financial reasons I was forced to let him stay. After about 6 months, I was feeling pretty good and my major problem was getting him out of the house and surviving until I graduated. At this point he asks me to come back to the marriage. I was thrown for a loop and didn't know how to answer so I asked for time. After much thought and three weeks I decided to give the marriage another try. BIGGEST mistake of my life. The emotional distanced increased and all I got was verbal abuse about my weight. lack of housekeeping, working too much etc etc. Mean while he was working 40 hrs a week at a job I was working 40 hrs a week night shift and going to school during the day as well as doing all errands and everything for the children. So I got sucked back in. During a coffee run this summer he startd wondering if he could find a place to live. This was the last straw, I tried to hang on until I was finally financially straightened out but before Christmas I got poisoned with him complaining and belittling me and told him it was done. I was working away and when I returned home within 3 weeks I had a legal spearation prepared and signed. Now I am away from work and lost. My ex is dating someone (I think a teacher from his place of work) and rushes home from work to shower and go on a coffee date with his "friend." The kids are left to feed themselves and even the evenings he is home he sleeps all the time and doesn't look after the kids. I have no idea how to feel about any of this and I am numb on the inside. I miss my kids so much and I can't wait to return home to see them. I feel so numb, like I am dead on the inside. I am rotted I did everything for this man for 20 years and he decides to run off with someone else before we are separted a month and then complains he is stressed out by dealing with residuals issues with the kids, vehicles etc. Any thoughts or suggestions?
I am recently legally separated and it happened very quickly in the end after dragging out over the last almost 7 years. The first separation was brutal my ex was having an online affair with another woman. I fought beeged and pleaded and he came back. The second separation was because he told me he wasn't sure he wanted to be married to me anymore and that he loved me but wasn't in love with me. He said he didn't find me attractive anymore and that I needed to lose weight to save our marriage. I told him to go F@#k himself. I was 12 months from finishing up my university degree at the time and didn't need this stuff, I was crushed but started to move on. He wouldn't leave my house and because of school/financial reasons I was forced to let him stay. After about 6 months, I was feeling pretty good and my major problem was getting him out of the house and surviving until I graduated. At this point he asks me to come back to the marriage. I was thrown for a loop and didn't know how to answer so I asked for time. After much thought and three weeks I decided to give the marriage another try. BIGGEST mistake of my life. The emotional distanced increased and all I got was verbal abuse about my weight. lack of housekeeping, working too much etc etc. Mean while he was working 40 hrs a week at a job I was working 40 hrs a week night shift and going to school during the day as well as doing all errands and everything for the children. So I got sucked back in. During a coffee run this summer he startd wondering if he could find a place to live. This was the last straw, I tried to hang on until I was finally financially straightened out but before Christmas I got poisoned with him complaining and belittling me and told him it was done. I was working away and when I returned home within 3 weeks I had a legal spearation prepared and signed. Now I am away from work and lost. My ex is dating someone (I think a teacher from his place of work) and rushes home from work to shower and go on a coffee date with his "friend." The kids are left to feed themselves and even the evenings he is home he sleeps all the time and doesn't look after the kids. I have no idea how to feel about any of this and I am numb on the inside. I miss my kids so much and I can't wait to return home to see them. I feel so numb, like I am dead on the inside. I am rotted I did everything for this man for 20 years and he decides to run off with someone else before we are separted a month and then complains he is stressed out by dealing with residuals issues with the kids, vehicles etc. Any thoughts or suggestions?
Please, never go back to him. Abusers only get worse with time.
Be happy he found someone else to abuse.
I guess he has the kids?????
I feel bad, and just hope you will be in a situation to take them soon???
Could he cause you a nightmare with custody, if that is what you want later??
I would believe nothing he says and talk to a lawyer regarding your rights.
I wish you luck.
I just finished an 18 month program to get my masters degree, I would work all day, come home and go to school do my homework and take care of everything for the kids. I don't know where the time was supposed to come from for working out and cleaning. On top of that when he complained about family time I moved my schedule around and did my school work as much as i could after everyone went to bed or when i was at work. I have supported him while he was in school and through every lost job or job change he has made, Things have always been really good or really bad.. I have noticed this and even thought about divorce myslf but never wanted to give up on us and our family. I was willing to work through it,. Just found out yesterday that even though this is supposedly about us he is in love with another woman from his work.. she is also married and has three kids. He is refusing to move out for 6 months because he isn't financially ready to move out.. he has moved to the night shift at work which is the shift she works and on his nights off after the kids go to bed they supposedly meet up to talk only because their relationship is supposedly not physical at the moment.
I have agreed to the divorce and him staying here but i wanted to make an agreement that we once we were divorced neither of us would have the girls around people we were with for at least six months and no one stayed over for at least six months after that.. well he isn't okay with that. He is planning on moving in with this woman when he moves out.. they will get a house together and her children will live with them.. I don't want this. I feel so broken and betrayed.. I hurt and I still love him even though he has hurt me so bad... If you are going through what I am emotionally.. i am so sorry for your pain.