Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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roxyg0789 12/20/2015

So I just found out that my ex-fianc cheated on me.
I have never felt so much hatred for a person as I feel now. After 6 1/2 years with someone I can't believe he would do this. Claiming he was "depressed" and I would feel so bad for him. I hope karma gets him and God punishes him for the jerk that he is. How do I stop caring? I have so much anger that I want to call/text him so many things but I know he is not worth it. Any advice? He went to a party on Saturday with a girl and I saw the picture of them which is how I found out.

kenjb47 12/20/2015

I know it sucks, I caught my stbxw cheating with a coworker after 20 years together. You have to realize the anger you hold is a anchor around YOUR neck, not his, as you can probably tell by his behavior, it's not bothering him much. The best thing you can do is "let it go" and by truly doing that, you will find peace again. Try hard not to find out what he is doing that only lengthens the healing process. Good luck and God bless

utterpain 12/20/2015

Be grateful it's over, you dodged a bullet. Also remember that cheating is not a reflection at all of you or your worth. A lot of people cheat just because they can. Journaling, working out, music, banging other people etc will help with the anger.

MyTrueColors 12/20/2015

You are at the beginning of the grief process. Grief is not linear and there is no time limit as to when you "should be over him." It's important to honor your feelings & allow yourself to feel whatever feelings arise.

Write him a good bye letter, but do NOT send or give it to him. In the letter write everything you will and won't miss about him. Tell him how he hurt you. Say anything and everything you want.

Again, do NOT give it to him. Instead, burn in. Create a ceremony around the burning, like a funeral.

Do this as many times as you need to. The anger is normal. It' helps to express it in a healthy way. Roll up magazine or use a tennis racket and beat the crap out of cushion. Drive your car to an empty parking lot and play loud music and scream your lungs out.

Eventually the anger will give way to the hurt and sadness underneath. Then allow yourself to cry as much as you need to.

If you feel overwhelmed, it will help to talk w/a grief counselor. It's critical to express what you feel inside and know that whatever you feel is neither right nor wrong.

I know it will be hard, but take good care of yourself. Get plenty of sleep, eat well, exercise and again, honor your feelings and allow yourself to feel them as the come up.

~healing hugs~

jazul 12/24/2015

Roxy,
I know what you are going through as I have been through this experience and it can be devastating for a while.

Sending you a healing hug. As MyTrue Colors wrote, this is a time of grieving for you. Take good care of you now. Have lots of self-compassion and reach out to friends and family for love and support.

Your friends at DailyStrength are here for you, too.
Sending you a gentle hug.

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