So sorry you are going through this. Was this a complete surprise? Also what was his reason? It took me couple months to accept the fact that my marriage was over emotionally. Day 2 is still very early - please take care of yourself. I think it is totally fine to not help him pack. Did he ask for the help? If he is the one that wants the separation why can't he do this alone?

Looking at pictures is difficult. The ones of my wedding I threw out. To me, they represented the lie that was the last 26 years of my life. My ex wanted the family photos that were he and I and the kids so I willingly gave him those.
Time is both your friend and your enemy. Too much of it, your mind wanders and creates pain and the time moves so slowly. It is your friend because eventually that is the only thing that will heal your wounded heart.

To answer to you, koko, yes this was a total surprise, a complete shock. I never thought we might ever get to this stage in life. I never thought things are so bad between us. Due to my introvert nature, i could never open myself completely and express myself. Is like i am building walls all around me. He has always tried to get to me but gradually this also affected out sexual life. On top of it all he met another woman. He asked for help because i have always been the one with organising things, i know where every little thing is in the room, he doesn't. I have no choice but get this done.

Yes cleigh, looking at the pictures is hard and painful. I am angry and want to delete them but there are part of my life and have to acknowledge them. Even if i throw them away or erase them, they will never go away from my memories, i cannot reset my brain. I have to make a deal with this Time, perhaps bribe him into an easier way out of this.

We split the pictures, he took what he
Wanted and i kept the rest. I still look
At them. I kept all my wedding photos.
They are all in one box and its a mix Of
all my life with everyone in it. It does
Not make me sad to look at them.

Pictures on Facebook you could put
them on a CD or something. I am not into
FB And don't have many pictures. I would
Block your STBX and his GF and anyone
else who might share photos of them.

This whole process is tough, join support
Groups like divorce care, go to therapy,
Keep reaching out to good loving healthy
people.

Let yourself grieve your losses and be kind
And gentle to yourself. The healing can start
After the divorce is final. Its still a long hard
Road afterwards.

Keep working on you to figure things out, my
Ex and i had troubles after awhile. Many here
Did, sometimes people still have too much
Wounding or baggage and the marriage just
doesn't work anymore.

Stop shouldering all the blame not good or
Healthy. My ex dumped his stuff all over me
And took none of the blame himself. HUGS

Elena I am here for you! My marriage as well was a complete surprise, a big smack in the face. I wouldn't/didn't help pack, I did erase my Facebook and still have not looked back. It's just too hard. Hang in there and message me if you want to talk xoxo

Yes i admit. I am shouldering too much, i am shouldering kind of all the failures of our relationship. But in my moments of clearness i find his share of mistakes of creating the gap between us. I have to learn to respect and appreciate myself more, i have to learn to be selfish.
Hugs back to all of you!

SBC1238, as much as i would like to share my thoughts with you, you have a private profile. I sent you a friend request, if you don't mind.
This really helps, talking to you, people who are going through the same pain.
Thank you all for your thoughts!

Not sure I would help him. He's a big boy, let him figure it out.
In the meantime, it is time to focus on YOU, and how best to cope with the surprise he sprang on you. You are ahead of the game by seeking support. Continue to reach out to this community and a few trusted friends.
Don't focus too much on "moving on" just yet. Give yourself about a month just to process what just happened. Seek legal advise to you'll know your options, if it comes to divorce.

Elena I just added you as a friend

The divorce process is just something to get
Thru and survive with your skin intact and an
Ounce of sanity left at least thats my opinion.

Watch your back and protect yourself financially
Because at this point thats what left. It can get
Ugly, we did okay until the financials then the
gloves came off.

Please seek therapy and/or divorce care, your
stbx will Use your guilt against you. It takes two
to tango so Stop taking it all. I got bucket loads
Of my shortfalls Dumped all over me after he
Became so displeased.

Its funny how selfish and immature people only
Can see others problems not their own. Was yours
Controlling by any chance? HUGS

Good morning ElenaD,
So sorry to hear all the pain you are going through. i feel your pain. looking at pictures is so difficult. Stirs up alot of emotions and feelings. The early stages there are so many emotions, sadness, loneliness, anger, fear.. Take strength that you are not alone. Continue to reach out. Each day will get a little easier... Remember all the positives in your life, whether it be your kids, your health, your pets, your hobbies, your job, family and friends... And Smile...

You can do this ElenaD, you are stronger then you think. Reach out I am here. Talk it out with me. I understand. When my husband left there was no closure. I came home and everything was gone he sent me a text saying it was over. Who does that? Who doesnt have enough guts to face their wife and tell them to their face.
You got this you are strong. Fight for the person you are!

Thank you all for your good thoughts abd encouragement. Yes he is moving out tonight i helped him pack and we talked some more. Things already said but reinforced and he reassured me that he will be there for me whenever i need it. It is hard anyway but there is no turning back. Hugs to you all!

Dont get sucked in thinking every thing
Is okay dokie and he is some kind of good
Guy walking out on his wife into the arms
Of another woman.

Watch your back and front financially and
Emotionally. HUGS