Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Razor91 08/08/2016

So, I went for a nap today and managed to have two nightmares in one sleep which I didn't even think was possible but I'm devasted because it was about my ex moving on twice and he having no interest in me when in the dream I gave up and contacted him, but he was happy with someone else but I always thought despite everything he would always be mine again and I sound so up myself right now, but we always told each other that we were each other's one and I guess I still have that in my head.

But I really just want to give up the no contact and talk to him but I know he wants a proper relationship and I know right now that I can't cause I want to be alone 90% of the time, which is just weird but I just do. Right now I just feel heart broken and like I still want to be his only one but that's just ridiculous cause he deserves to be happy and to move on, he's kinda back in my life and I thought I was over him, it's been 6 monthsand he wasn't back in it for 5 of those months, we were together for 2 and a half years and I really thought that was the end and that I was good and over him and I know almost 3 years is a long time and maybe I was stupid to think 5 months and I'll be good.

Just how much longer does the grieving process take cause I don't know if I can resist temptation and I don't want to bulldoze back into his life and leave again, and then I'm thinking maybe we could just be friends, but been there, done that, doesn't work, just needed to vent my sadness, the dream felt so real, I think I'm clearly not grieving the proper way or something?

cafelover 08/08/2016

For me, there are two exes in my past that I would say I still think about from time to time-- I even have dreams about them. Rarely but I do. However, I definitely feel in my heart and know in my head that the relationship ending was the best for everyone, because I wasn't in the right place and neither were they. I'm guessing by your name that you were born in 91 and are in your mid-twenties. There's definitely a very strong desire when you're younger to have a lot of freedom. I felt that very strongly when I was younger. And I still do today (now in my mid-30's). I've realized too that there is a balance between pushing people away versus needing alone time. Relationships with others (not just romantic) are important and it's important to know you have a community. Do you feel like you do have a community and close friends? Or do you feel like you isolate from everyone? If so, try to find out why that might be and what it might mean to have more supportive relationships. What you are feeling though- the sadness over the loss as well as the desire to still have you be his one-and-only seem very normal to me, very much like typical human nature.I hope you're able to find some ways to comfort as you grieve and ways to self-care.

Razor91 08/08/2016

I messed up, I gave in and messaged and then removed it, I don't know what to do??
I've been pretty much isolating everyone and I'm pretty content with it which is strange for me because never in my life have I wanted to be alone. But I feel I am getting out more and meeting new people and making new friends.

Laila 08/08/2016

Hello Razor91, the best advice I ever got about trying to be Friends with exes is: 'Only be friends with an Ex if you are truly over them'. I made a mistake of once being friends with an ex when I was not over him, every time he talked about another girl, I felt horrible/jealous. To help me get over my r/ship with him, I stopped contact with him. Everyday I am tempted to contact him but I know that's not the best thing for me. You should not communicate with him for starters and see how you feel.

Mess 08/10/2016

I feel the same way, i just want to talk to him and the temptation is too hard

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