Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi everyone,
Been a while since I have posted but I am now in another rut and need some help and brutal honest advice.
To sum up what has been going one the last few months, my house has been sold, I have moved to a condo and the divorce process has begun.
I have never felt so alone and isolated as I do right now, what I thought was me moving forward has turned into more tears and depression. I thought I was on the right track but find myself feeling so alone. I have relied deeply on my parents support but I know them seeing me this way is killing them. I try to be positive and up beat when I seem them but it I am just being a fraud.
I find myself missing my stbxw everyday and not wanting what I am going through, I am still waiting to wake up from this nightmare.
Our first collaborative meeting is coming up and it scares the crap out of me.
What do I need to do to get out of this funk, I have tried everything to help me move forward from this but it is not helping, there has been no contact for over 3 months but I still think about her frequantly , wonder if I even cross her mind, how she is doing, what she is up to...
Bottom line, I am still miserable and don't know what to do anymore but just go through the stages and complete the breakup.
Don't want this but nothing I can do...looking for help to get through this...
Been a while since I have posted but I am now in another rut and need some help and brutal honest advice.
To sum up what has been going one the last few months, my house has been sold, I have moved to a condo and the divorce process has begun.
I have never felt so alone and isolated as I do right now, what I thought was me moving forward has turned into more tears and depression. I thought I was on the right track but find myself feeling so alone. I have relied deeply on my parents support but I know them seeing me this way is killing them. I try to be positive and up beat when I seem them but it I am just being a fraud.
I find myself missing my stbxw everyday and not wanting what I am going through, I am still waiting to wake up from this nightmare.
Our first collaborative meeting is coming up and it scares the crap out of me.
What do I need to do to get out of this funk, I have tried everything to help me move forward from this but it is not helping, there has been no contact for over 3 months but I still think about her frequantly , wonder if I even cross her mind, how she is doing, what she is up to...
Bottom line, I am still miserable and don't know what to do anymore but just go through the stages and complete the breakup.
Don't want this but nothing I can do...looking for help to get through this...
What you are feeling - every bit of it - is normal. Allow yourself to feel the pain. That is how you will get through it. Don't beat yourself up.
You are a loving, caring person - that is why you are suffering so deeply.
What helped release me from the agonizing pain of day to day living was to understand I don't have to stop loving my ex. I don't love the person he is now - I love the person he used to be and I miss the relationship I thought we had. Unfortunately, that relationship doesn't exist anymore. I could never go back and believe he wouldn't do this again. The trust is gone. When I admitted that to myself, it was very freeing. The love you had and that you shared with your ex is part of who you are and that will never go away. But it could never be the same now.
Fake it till you make it - good advice. Put one foot in front of the other each day, cry if you have to, and go on. It will take time - don't box yourself into a timetable - and you will survive this.
Read Read Read! I have spent hours on the internet reading breakup blogs..divorce help blogs...and mostly on DS making friends with people who are experiencing the same. People I have met have saved my life and I know they will help you through if you let them.
You are not alone. I am thinking of you and sending you good thoughts for strength and comfort.
I crave something to distract me, so I would think you would benefit from people or activities that occupy you without that constant reminder of her. Nothing will work completely but take what peace you can find.
Praying for some peace of heart for you!
In so many ways. It is a thirteen week
Support group. I went multiple times
Still do when i can attend.
Along with alanon and a good therapist
Together they all work well for me.
I have been 7 months of no contact
After the divorce. I am only probably
At 30 % detached. Its painful and very
Stressful.
Let yourself grieve it is so healing. I still
Can cry now and still ride the emotional
Rollercoaster. Keep reaching out to good
Loving caring people. Feel you feelings and
Emotions.
Divorce and seperation phase is brutal, it
Does get better after the divorce and decree.
The hope is gone and things are finalized.
(((((( hugs )))))
We know your pain and heartache, we're all in different stages of the journey but we get it. Take it one day at a time and try and look forward, not backward. Get some counseling if you can but honestly DS was more helpful to me than anything else and it's free!! Fake it till you make it was my motto too and some days it's still true. Again, I am so sorry, I can feel your pain through your post and it makes me sad for you. The hardest thing for me was and is letting go and accepting this is now my life. Hugs and prayers to you.
Are you doing things for yourself at all? I guess I'm asking, are you eating well, are you getting any exercise, are you socializing at all? Participating in any hobbies?
These are all things I'm working toward, I used to be an exceptionally healthy eater, since my spouse left I have been subsisting on junk food & it is taking it's toll....makes it harder to maintain emotional stability.
Movement is good for the body, the mind, & the emotions.
Are you in any support groups? Someone posted about divorcecare , I'd never heard of it, but I have book marked it & am thinking of checking it out myself.
I know it isn't the same with other people, but try to gather other people around you & let them love you & be there for you.
I'm sorry you are suffering.
Please remember, everything shall pass and it's only a matter of time. During this emotional time, make sure you stay busy with support groups and doing things you love the most. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people, do a dream project, sign up for courses ..these are just few things to distract yourself from loneliness and sadness.
Stay positive and strong! This will be over soon and you are soon going to be very happy!