Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I made a year with this guy on the24th of this month and he broke up with me 4 days later. I really fell in love with this guy to the sense where I feel so empty without him. It hurts so much not talking to him. I cant help to blame myself for the reason why we had ended. But I know he was bad for me, he took advantage of me. I know I never did anything wrong I been faithful, trustworthy, and loved and cared for him deeply. He treated me like I didn't matter and he's already talking to new girls and in my head I think to myself did he ever loved me have I ever even been important to this human being. I felt like time been wasted and it hurts because no matter how much I want to dislike him I just cant do it. He took my virginity, he's my longest relationship I known him for 3 years and dated him for 1 out of those years I known him. I guess you truly still don't know people even if you thought you did. I don't know what to do anymore I know this break up wasn't my fault but how can I accept myself to move on when he has my heart. The reason why we broke up is because he said I never accepted him that if I wasn't okay with him smoking and drinking that we had to end it. I did accept him for him I dated him when he was on that path but he had stopped all I did was wanted better for him because I seen the good in all his bad and flaws but he didn't understand where I was coming from. We were talking about it no one even said its over not me not him but then he went and changed his relationship status to single, deleted all our pictures... that's when I knew it was over and that he ended our relationship. Was I the one wrong? :(
Know you are young and don't settle for nothing less than someone you can feel loves you. Stay strong and someone who truly loves you wouldn't hurt you or want you to suffer.
Whatever it is that you love and is important to you -- be this. Develop it for and within yourself. Cultivate and nurture these qualities. Build yourself up and create confidence in yourself. And, as tough as it is -- don't get caught up in what he's doing or who he's seeing or talking to. Thinking about it will bring you pain and sorrow -- it won't be helpful to you. You have no control over him or his actions. But, you can take a step back from your situation and ask yourself -- what do I want to do? Who do I want to be or become?
Divert your attention, time and energy to something positive for yourself. As much as it will hurt, trudge forward slowly. With each passing day it will get easier. You will have moments of pain and sadness, and, these emotions will pass -- they are not forever, even though it may feel like it.
Teach yourself to be with yourself and not rely upon a love relationship to feel good about yourself. It's extremely important for one to feel whole with oneself and not expect another to do this, because if and when this person is gone -- one is left alone, feels isolated and pretty lonely. I know -- I spent 20 years with someone -- my spouse ... he was my life and he left (he found someone else who is much younger).
Try really hard to not get stuck on who's at fault, because, at this point, is this really the most important thing? You're young and may not see it, but, it is not. It's important for you to accept yourself.