I'm sorry you're in this situation. I know it's hard, but I found taking the high road and standing in my truth was best. Some knew right away w/o having to ask. Others, it took a while because he was quite good at getting people to see things the way he wanted them to. I made sure I didn't say anything bad about him, especially to our kids & families. If asked questions about specific situations by family members, I answered honestly, prefacing it with something to the effect that 'this is the way I remember that incident.' Eventually the people who mattered to me found out the truth w/o me having to say/do much at all. Just know that the results from taking the high road can take a while.

My advice is when your friends and your family ask, speak your truth as you spoke it here. If customers or acquaintances ask, you might suggest they ask him. (I'm sorry, you'll have to ask him.) and then smile sweetly and ask what you can do to help them.

One critical thing, tho. It is NOT UP TO YOU to protect his reputation. HE is accountable and responsible for HIS actions. (As in, he should have thought about that before he wanted out and took up with OW.) His future actions will bear out his reputation.

~healing hugs~

you don't want to hurt his reputation with the truth
his truth of betrayal

sadly the truth is also that you are not from town, people have to live with his parents, his family so even if they knew the truth they couldn't be bothered, they take his side whether they know or not

my story is similar, the affair very very sick as it involves a school teacher and a youth leader.....one of my kids active in that youth group, people don't want to consider the danger for my kid, so the truthful one is shunned and portrayed as a trouble maker

smile, keep taking the money, build the business, then sell and leave

You really do not to explain your situation. Allow people to speculate. I think that very few people will speculate about what happened. If you are in business, best to keep your private matters to yourself.

Sorry that you are in this situation. It will soon pass.

I think refurb has a point. Just tell the truth. Whats to say that when he starts to go out in public with the OW that his story won't portray you in a bad light to make himself look better. Just stick with the truth. You can still be respectful.

Guessing that just now on the phone to STBX i shouldnt have called his girlfriend a whore? Gah I know Im acting horrible I just cant stop Im so hurt. He met her in real life a week ago and is sleeping with her. How else do I act?

Don't beat yourself up. I have called the OW in my husbands life a head case, a whore, a manipulative home wrecking bitch. You are upset. If he expects you to be anything different he is dilussional

I've called my ex's gf all kinds of names and that is normal. he got upset at me once and asked me why I have to call her names well what do he expected!!! I never talked bad about him to his family or children. Like everybody else said ....speak your truth without bashing him. At the same time I never lied to our kids, age appropriate truths were told.
Stay strong!