Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Cakeasaurus 01/20/2018

I didn't sleep last night. We broke up three days ago and I can't sleep. I forget to eat. I just don't care. I want him back. We broke up because he wants to move to Alberta but I don't. But after breaking up, I realize that I would go anywhere for him. He's not perfect, but I love him. Am I being too brash? Should I be taking some time to decide what I want and what's best for me instead of just jumping back in?

I still love him. He still loves me. At the very least, we'll always be friends. But I want to be more. I want to be with him forever. I feel like he's the one.

How do I deal with this? Do I accept that it's over? He's moving out. He's moving to Heyden, which is a small community 30 minutes outside the city. I refuse to move there. I'll move out of province because we'd be living in a huge city full of people and opportunity, but I won't move to Heyden because I would have to leave a job I love and move away from all my friends just to be super isolated. Is this something he and I can overcome or am I fooling myself?

jojored 01/20/2018

Hi, you sound pretty firm in your desire to not move to this small community. You'll be uprooting yourself from a job and friends - for one person. On the surface it sounds like you don't want to move.

But - how long have you been together? How old are you?

Realistically thinking, and being as objective as you possibly can be, do you think you're both on the same page in terms of the rest of your lives? Have you both clearly communicated your feelings and desires for the future?

Would it be worth it for a trial - where you stay together as a long distance couple while you see how things feel? Give yourself a time frame - 6 months maybe, and see if your relationship is able to withstand those 6 months. If so, maybe that's telling you that making a major change in your life for this person is worthwhile.

Blondee1902 01/20/2018

The best I could suggest is to trust and listen to your gut. My bf wants to move to TX. When he first told me and said he wanted me to go with, I told him I didn't know if I could do it. Leaving my family, and few friends I have to go to another state where I would only have him and his parents. I didn't think I could do it. He didn't push the topic, and after a few months of talking about it and the pros/cons of it I was still on the fence about it. Then all of a sudden while I was on my way to go see him, I heard a song, and it just hit me that I was going to TX with him. I didn't want to be anywhere else unless it was with him.
As hard as it may be to leave what you know, if it's meant to be, you will know. Even if it's not right away.

11Christmases 01/21/2018

Call me old-fashioned, but I wouldn't give up my career and move far away for a guy unless we were married or getting married. It's not fair for you to take all the risk. If he's not ready or not willing to put a ring on it, then I'd let him go. Just my opinion. Don't settle for less than you deserve.

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