Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi, I am a 32 year-old male. My fianc broke up with me this past July (2015). I was not expecting the breakup so I felt quite blindsided by it. I am struggling to accept the breakup and I am unable to move on from the relationship. My mind is continually thinking about her and I am desperately hoping to hear from her again so we can work things out.
I have read many articles on how to cope with a breakup and have enacted several pieces of advice from the articles. I have committed to the no contact rule and unfriended her and blocked her on Facebook. I removed her contact information from my cell phone as well (this is to eliminate the temptation of calling or texting her). I also unfriended her friends on Facebook. I am journaling and forcing myself to go out with friends and family simply to get out of my house and off of my couch. I have spoken to my general physician about how I am feeling about this breakup as I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and general anxiety disorder (I was being treated for depression during the relationship and continue to be treated for it now).
It has been close to two and a half months since the breakup and I think I am regressing in my attempt to move on from the breakup. I desperately want to contact her to see if we can begin a new relationship. I have been told by friends it is best I do not contact her and to focus solely on myself to heal.
I do not know what to do and the overwhelming pain I feel is affecting my daily life. I feel as though by not contacting her I am giving up and not fighting for what I want. She hasnt reached out to me other than two days after the breakup when she dropped my stuff off at my place. I am at a loss as to what to do next and would like to know how others have dealt with similar situations.
I have read many articles on how to cope with a breakup and have enacted several pieces of advice from the articles. I have committed to the no contact rule and unfriended her and blocked her on Facebook. I removed her contact information from my cell phone as well (this is to eliminate the temptation of calling or texting her). I also unfriended her friends on Facebook. I am journaling and forcing myself to go out with friends and family simply to get out of my house and off of my couch. I have spoken to my general physician about how I am feeling about this breakup as I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and general anxiety disorder (I was being treated for depression during the relationship and continue to be treated for it now).
It has been close to two and a half months since the breakup and I think I am regressing in my attempt to move on from the breakup. I desperately want to contact her to see if we can begin a new relationship. I have been told by friends it is best I do not contact her and to focus solely on myself to heal.
I do not know what to do and the overwhelming pain I feel is affecting my daily life. I feel as though by not contacting her I am giving up and not fighting for what I want. She hasnt reached out to me other than two days after the breakup when she dropped my stuff off at my place. I am at a loss as to what to do next and would like to know how others have dealt with similar situations.
I have had two engagements broken off before I finally married someone and both of those times I realized later I had completely dodged a bullet by not marrying them.
Thinks about the things you didn't like about this relationship, because there probably are some, and comfort yourself with those.
Daily life is difficult for me, and my body is out of whack. I hate this. So I know how painful this is for you. I think the no contact rule is good...I want to reach out to my ex, but I know that right now it is too difficult and confusing for me. I think it's good to sit back, heal, and gain some perspective. Every day is dark for me and some days are worse. I know what it feels like to think you're not progressing...
I don't think time will take away the pain, but I think it will make you stronger. It will make you able to withstand the memories and feel a little less depressed. Each day may feel the same to you but I believe they will add up to something good.
For 2 months of heartache, pain and tears I was at a loss. Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep and honestly...wanted to die.
She would not speak with me, communicate or see me. 2 months of wonder what the "f" had happenend was driving me crazy. Being I love this person so much I wanted to make sure I did everything in my power to get a chance to try to fix and possibly reconcile.
Just last week I reached out and asked where we stood, deep down does she want to move forward apart. This is what she responded via text msg "if you love me as much as say you do, you will let me go, I want a divorce" You cannot imagine seeing that what it does to your soul. Believe it or not, this has helped me.
I know have no more what if, why... But know what I have is hope for myself to heal, I still grieve and cry everyday but not as long as I have been. I know now deep down in my heart that I wanted nothing more than to be with this person but why spend all my energy on something that will never happen cause it takes 2. Rather now I am focusing on healing, it will be a long and tough road but at least for me...I have the focus.
Sorry for the rant, I hope this helps.
I've found that when I am journaling, it seems to be nothing more than me complaining and as a result it doesn't seem to be very productive. Yes, I am using it to express my thoughts but I was curious if any of you use specific topics while writing or reflecting that you've found to be helpful?
When journaling I am being as honest and real as possible to myself.