Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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idontmakeherhapyenuf 02/11/2015

I am hoping someone can provide some good suggestions. My mind is my worst enemy. It is like it is on hyper drive continually playing through scenarios. These scenarios run from horribly painful to insanely hopeful. This morning I was surprised by one of anger and quitting. If I start to rouse during the night, my brain starts up and reclaiming sleep is very difficult. I have been on a mission to improve my heart even before she shocked me last week, so I've dived into my exercise in hopes of clearing my mind. I feel better physically during those times but cannot achieve any peace in my brain. I do not drink or do anything like that and am not interested in starting. Has anything worked for someone?

kbbcoop77 02/11/2015

Good job on no alcohol that makes things worse.
I have been taking 2 5mg melatonin before sleep and it seems to really help. It's natural and I have had success with it.

idontmakeherhapyenuf 02/11/2015

Thank you for the suggestion. I am very sure the less sleep will catch up with me. Any suggestions for the daylight hours?

broken234 02/11/2015

I too have taken a non habit forming sleep aid. It helped me tremendously. My mind still would work over time when I woke in the middle of the night but I could fall back asleep instead of being awake the rest of the night. During the day when I find my mind racing I try to focus on the physical feeling and tell myself to let it pass. Then I will quickly read a self help article about why I am having these feelings how I can help myself get over them. It usually helps me focus a bit more. I know what you are feeling. Feel free to message me if you want to vent. That helped me too.

tm1070 02/17/2015

I have the same problem. Can't turn my mind off even to sleep. I have prescription sleeping pills, but I don't like to take them. They leave me drowsy. I take a Melatonin that also has a sleep aid in it. More often I self medicate with Nyquil which allows me about 4-5 hours of sleep.
I work in the yard, cleaned the garage, painted the hallway, getting ready to paint 3 bedrooms - and still can't stop this mind spiral.
I, too work nights and sleep during the day. Nyquil has been a good friend, but does not work when I am already all worked up in one of those spins

CopingJust 02/17/2015

Start meditation - there is a smart phone app called headspace that is a really good intro - ten days of mindfullness, just 10 minutes a day - as a good way to ease into it.

Watch Eckhart Tolle on YouTube - and start to read his stuff.

This is the basis of calming the mind and finding your way back to your center.

idontmakeherhapyenuf 02/17/2015

Thanks so much for the advice, everyone. I've never put much thought into meditation but I'm desperate. I've been trying a lot of exercise but though I feel better my mind still races through scenario after scenario. The waves of heartbreak that hit me are tough. Since I want to save my marriage, I don't want to disconnect from the feelings. It is so incredibly exhausting, though.

murphytoronto 02/17/2015

That plus Lorazepam was all that would get me to sleep
and youtube sleep hypnotherapy guide with Julie Langton Smith

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