Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Ive been married for 10 years with my wife, we have two sons one is 08 and the other one is 04. Everything according to myself was going just fine, I assumed that we had not a perfect marriage, but a very close one to that. That was until she change jobs and all of the sudden, one morning she woke up and told me: starting today you and me are in an emotional holiday, I was like what ? what happened form yesterday till this morning?, that was 07 months ago.
From that moment on, she started to become another person, I tried everything I could to try to make her change her mind, and keep asking her to be honest if there was somebody else, which obviously she kept denying until I confronted her with the phone call register and some text messages on her cell phone. She didnt care or felt bad about it, she insisted that she didnt love me anymore and kept insisting that I leave the house, which I refused for the first 04 months. I convince her to go to couples therapy which I know she attended for the guilt or something she had, but it was pointless, it was like she only attended to past list and to according to her, she went to the therapy but didnt work out.
At the fourth month she demanded that I left the house, and because she was getting very agresive and started yelling at all times in front of my children, I decided to accept, It is important to comment that in those 04 months I got in a depress state that I have never experienced before, there were moments that I couldnt stop crying, couldnt concentrate on my work so my work suffer which lead to financial problems, I lost almost 39 pounds in a two month period, and still cant stop feeling miserable most of the time.
Its been 03 months since I left my house, and because of my financial situation had to bunk in with a friend which is also divorced. Theres not a single day that I dont miss my family and my wife, I really am In love with my wife but she doesnt care about anything but her new life, even our children seem to be in her way, and they spend most of the time with me which is great for me, because they keep me going.
But its really hard for me, because I havent been able to really sleep in all of this time, everyday there are moments that I feel miserable and extremely sad, I keep dreaming when I sleep that I am still with my wife and my life is ok again. I kept thinking of what she is doing with her new boyfriend, and how could 10 years and 02 kids mean nothing to her to throw away like it was nothing, how can I get rid of the love I still feel for her ? How can you be happy when one morning you woke up and your life as you know it ended and you see yourself starting from nothing with no family, no wife, no home, nothing, mostly when you always respected your wife and tried to value your marriage.
Could someone please tell me how to be happy again? How can I stop feeling the way I do ? How can I stop caring more of what my wife do than what I must do? Will I ever be truly happy again or is it going to hurt forever?
From that moment on, she started to become another person, I tried everything I could to try to make her change her mind, and keep asking her to be honest if there was somebody else, which obviously she kept denying until I confronted her with the phone call register and some text messages on her cell phone. She didnt care or felt bad about it, she insisted that she didnt love me anymore and kept insisting that I leave the house, which I refused for the first 04 months. I convince her to go to couples therapy which I know she attended for the guilt or something she had, but it was pointless, it was like she only attended to past list and to according to her, she went to the therapy but didnt work out.
At the fourth month she demanded that I left the house, and because she was getting very agresive and started yelling at all times in front of my children, I decided to accept, It is important to comment that in those 04 months I got in a depress state that I have never experienced before, there were moments that I couldnt stop crying, couldnt concentrate on my work so my work suffer which lead to financial problems, I lost almost 39 pounds in a two month period, and still cant stop feeling miserable most of the time.
Its been 03 months since I left my house, and because of my financial situation had to bunk in with a friend which is also divorced. Theres not a single day that I dont miss my family and my wife, I really am In love with my wife but she doesnt care about anything but her new life, even our children seem to be in her way, and they spend most of the time with me which is great for me, because they keep me going.
But its really hard for me, because I havent been able to really sleep in all of this time, everyday there are moments that I feel miserable and extremely sad, I keep dreaming when I sleep that I am still with my wife and my life is ok again. I kept thinking of what she is doing with her new boyfriend, and how could 10 years and 02 kids mean nothing to her to throw away like it was nothing, how can I get rid of the love I still feel for her ? How can you be happy when one morning you woke up and your life as you know it ended and you see yourself starting from nothing with no family, no wife, no home, nothing, mostly when you always respected your wife and tried to value your marriage.
Could someone please tell me how to be happy again? How can I stop feeling the way I do ? How can I stop caring more of what my wife do than what I must do? Will I ever be truly happy again or is it going to hurt forever?
You will not feel like this forever. Everyone will tell you - you have to go through it to get through it. I am 6 months separated after 30 years with my stbx and I got the I love you, but I'm not in love with you speech. He cheated over and over again throughout our marriage and I stayed to keep my famiy together. Not a smart idea, but you do what you think you need to at the time.
Consider yourself lucky - your wife is doing you a favor - she is selfish and caught up in her own selfish needs right now.
You will be OK - you are hurting right now, but it won't be forever. Please go to therapy, and work on yourself - don't give her another ounce of energy. You need all of that energy to deal with what you are going through. Glad you have your kids - they will keep you grounded.
I know it hurts - but it will get better.
Everyone keeps telling me it will get better, but It's easier hearing it than feeling it, but I pray for that everyday. Thanks a lot for your advice !
divorce her. you need her like you need a hole in the head.
You WILL be happy again. You WILL find someone that will love you. You WILL be whole!!!!!
You WILL be happy again. You WILL find someone that will love you. You WILL be whole!!!!!
We have the similar situation. My husband cheated on me and live with another woman now. At first, I depress, sad, angry, losing sleep and lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks. I always think about what he did with OW. It is almost 5 months now. I get myself busy by taking some classes and spent times with my 2 wonderful children. I know it is hard but it will get easier each day..Stay strong..You can do it..(((Hug)))
Time heals all wounds. Yu can't see it yet. But it will happen.