Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I'm in the midst right now of a divorce..20 years of marriage,together 25. 4 children. He was mentally,emotionally and physically abusive our whole marriage..to our children too. When he finally left in July I started no contact..he blew up my phone with texts,sometimes 15 in 1 hour,phone calls..you name it. We still work at the same place..even though he used to come in at a later time,he changed when he came in to when I am there. He has no visitation rights right now with our children. I finally blocked him in Oct. from texting me when he didn't respect my repeated requests to leave me alone. My lawyer advised me to get a restraining order,but he can be very scary and there have been times I honestly have feared for my life and am trying to make our divorce as calm as possible and not "ruffle his feathers"(which I don't get..he has and had a girlfriend,but whatever) I sent a final text saying one last time I never wanted any contact from him..ever..and wished him happiness and a good life..he has continued to have contact,left me a Christmas gift on my front porch(I did not open,and left it beside his car at his work)..he continues to leave notes in my mailbox,show up at work when I am there(my lawyer even sent his lawyer a letter asking him to go to work back at his normal time)..heres my question: why will he not leave me alone? He has a girlfriend..he has moved on..why can't he get it? When he left I told him that was it..he wanted to be friends! I told him this is how it would be,but he didn't understand..he said he would sleepover at my home so I could go to work(we work the overnight shift delivering papers..he wanted to sleep here when I worked,then he would go whenI was done) He tried sending friendly texts..all while stealing almost $10,000 out of our account and taking my paychecks..anyway..has anyone here been on the recieving end of no contact?? I need some insight on his thinking..what more do I need to do so he just leaves me alone. Thanks!!
It must be very difficult having to work with him. Is it possible for you to get on a different shift? Or even a job at a different company?
Hugs to you
Change your phone number so he can't contact you.
Have all his communication go through your attorney-and let him pay for it.
Soon or later he'll get a clue.
Sending you support!
He also knows he has control over you because you have not filed afor a restraining/protective order against him.
I know you feel that he gets mad, but when will you stand up to this jerk and tell him ENOUGH. That's what a restraining/protective order does. when he violates, you call the polcie and he goes to jail. He goes to jail enough and may end up in prison. It's a good way of communicating that you truly don't want any more of him.
I had to do it in my divorce and my very abusive (physically and emotionally) husband backed right off because he knew I was at the point that I would call the police and he would be in jail.
He sends you a present, you serve him with a restraining/protective order. He bothers you again, you call the police. He'll get the message and realize he no longer has control over you and leave you alone.
This is definitely a power/control game here and he wants to maintain that anyway he can. This sounds very dangerous to me.
I would consult real experts and proceed with caution.
Taking your paychecks???? And trying to be friends? Not to be melodramatic, but I'm going to call the dude a sociopath. I don't think that's an exagerration.
You cannot stop him from suicide because he can do it 24/7 when you are sleeping, in the shower or any number of times when you are not looking, It is impossible to prevent him from suicide. So don't let that stop you from filing for a restraining/protective order.
I said to myself when I filed for the protective order against my husband---he previously beat me up, so I know how that feels. If he comes after me, and he knows how mad I am, I'm going to fight him really hard and I never fought back before. And months before I hit him in the face and sent him out the door for good. So if he's gonig to get in a fight with me, he better pack a lunch because he'll be there a long time.
Instead he obeyed the protective order because he knew I had had enough of him and he would be in jail if he violated it. I had already changed my home phone number, and he wasn't coming to the home, so he knew I really meant business, and the judge stopped him from coming to my work and he couldn't call my work. It was really great..