Leaving the house is a good idea. Do so as soon as you can. Yes, you will find the courage and strength to get through this, and when it's behind you, you will be amazed at the strength you didn't even know you had. You have done nothing to deserve this, and counseling will help you to see this and move forward.

Take care of yourself. Take it a day at a time. Post here and journal. Surround yourself with people who care about you. (((Sandr)))

I know what you're going through. When me and my ex split we lived together for 9 months after we broke up. He was always complaining after wards that he needed space cuz I was always around (lost my job because of the depression from the break up). What really helps is to find stuff to do during the day. I used to take my dog to the dog park for hours to give him space and give me time to think in a pretty setting. Unless he's totally heartless he'll start to wonder what you're doing every day and see that you're gonna be fine without him. Sometimes it makes people come around.

Yes, do get counselling... You need support and encouragement during this difficult time.

Sandra I'm interested in the silence. What's that like? What is so hard about it? If he only pulls you down when he speaks, I wonder it the silence is a helpful space for you. What do you think you could fill the silence with?

I agree with the counseling.it has helped me a great deal ..sometimes we wait and look for answers to magically appear but as days go by it s really up to us to take control ..i tell myself that everyday ..i say its my life ..i have one life ..ur husband should support u and wat ur feeling ..if you feel that he adds to ur pain then .. You are better off leaving ..you deserve understanding and love more than ever when ur feeling down.. I think DS will help you too seeing peoples responses to questions that relate to u is an eye opener ..be strong ..ur answers are within ..xoxo

How much longer do you have to stay in tha house?


I would also suggest counseling...it DOES do amazing things for you...with the right one. Don't jump at the first one if it doesn't feel right, though. I prefer one that 'challenges' and asks a lot of questions...interacts with you...like a conversation. "Nodders" are a waste of time and money.

@ reply #6 - I couldn't agree more. My first therapist was a "nodder". I felt I was being challenged enough getting asked the tough questions. I've sinced changed therapist and I'm definetely being challenged and pretty happy with how things are going.

Sandr - As much as you can talk with your friend...go to counseling if you can. Do what you can or what you need to do to keep sane. I'm not sure of your situation so I'm not sure if agreeing with you to leave is a good idea. I just know more often than not legally the usual advice is to not leave the home as you may still be on the hook for the payments. Again, not sure just saying for you to find out what's what before you do make a decision. Good luck...

Damn typos...

"I felt like I WASN'T being challeneged enough...."

Your first sentence says it all...starting to take it's toll on you. You are in a sucky situtuation. I predict that once you are officially separated with regard to living space you will start to do better. In the meantime find ways to be scarce and maintain minimal contact just to protect your own sanity.