Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
If you have read my previous posts, you know last year I was dumped by my boyfriend of 12 years for a 20 year old. Since then I have dated other guys. In March I met this one guy and we kind of hit it off. But he was so intense that I was very hesitant and we said we would be friends. But as we got to know each other, the more time I spent with him and I was falling for him.
Well as we got to know each other we really hit things off. Or I thought... He even bought a ring for me and put it on my finger once and I couldn't accept yet. He asked me to at least wear it for a day and I declined. I mean we only dated for about 3 months... and my family had issues with him. But I figured once they met him it would be no big deal. We had a huge fight in beginning of July. By the time I tried to work things out with him on the 5th, he was telling me how he was already on a date with a new woman on the 4th of July. I mean really? I was so upset. I tried to mend things again and he kind of just brushed me off.
Monday, I was curious how things went with his custody battle. Nothing romantic, but genuinely concerned. I mean I was really rooting for him since he missed his son and his son missed him. He explained it to me and ended the message with "I love you". I was like why would you say that. He's like because I do. And continues with "I miss you" followed by "A lot". I was like you can't say things like that you ended things. Towards the end of the convo, he said we "shared the same heart" and I was like "No, we don't. My heart doesn't simply replace someone I claimed to love"... I ended it with Bye and good luck with getting custody of your son (which I do mean). Every kid should have a father.
Part that gets me, how is it that every guy I have a "relationship" with quickly replaces me? Am I so replaceable? Am I truly that unremarkable as a person that all a guy needs is like a week to replace me? I know it's been a month, let it go. And I have come to peace with the fact that we are over. (It still hurts to say, but I know it to be over). BUT why is it I am so replaceable? What am I doing so wrong?
I don't know you are doing "wrong", but if you know what you want, move on if you don't think the guy can hit the bill.
Like Yard_eggs said, I was probably just the flavor of the month. Ironically besides this sudden breakup the only red flags I saw was him rushing into marriage and the drama of his custody battle.
I thought this guy was different than the other guy's I dated. And the ring, I thought he meant he was serious about wanting to be committed unlike my ex.
Unlike the other guys I dated between, he was not demanding (I literally had one guy get annoyed at me for "not following his lead" in the relationship), or rushing me to sleep with him. He was always considerate to me. Even came between finishing work and a meeting to fix my car while I was at work. He even had strong ties to his family (mom and siblings) and worked hard to be in his son's life. Which was my main attraction to him. I am a sucker to people close to their families. But perhaps that was his "charm". Seeing what women most attracted to and uses that. I don't know.